Reflection

Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all, right? Why don't you ask that again when I'm in a better mood.

I keep getting this odd feeling

Inside.

My body keeps shivering from the inside

Out.

But it isn't from the freezing cold

Outside.

 

It almost feels like it's trying to push you

Away.

Because these tears keep welling and coming

Out.

It tries so hard even though it knows the pain is here to

Stay.

 

It shivers and shakes yet it does

Nothing.

And this scream that builds I know I can never let

Out.

You meant so much to me, you were my

Everything.

 

Now you are gone and you are now her

Everything.

I wasn't enough and you forced me

Out.

You were my new beginning and I was your

Nothing.

 

You are gone yet are still here to

Stay.

Forever in my heart even thought I want you

Out.

You haunt my dreams, my reality, and won't go

Away.

 

So now I'm here, I'm on the

Outside.

Wishing you would return and throw her

Out.

As I watch you laugh with her on the

Inside.

Author's Note

Mmm let me know what you think.

Reviews

[Travis Wilson]

A great insight into your words and pain over this situation the more I look and read this poem the I can actually feel it myself. A great connection to the reader is always a key but you took it more into depth. I like the way you put this poem in to a story and make it powerful. It truly is powerful as the guy before me said this is like a story and a chant at the same time. I like the way you organized it. the long then the short, it is powerful.
My favorite part of this poem was...

"And this scream that builds I know I can never let
Out.
You meant so much to me, you were my
Everything.
Now you are gone and you are now her
Everything.
I wasn't enough and you forced me
Out."

[Michael Kerr]

this one i really could relate too. hurt and and the the feeling of being alone haunts me. wishing she would could back, be anything i say or do means nothing. i hope you still dont feel this way. i hope you can find the one your looking for.
great poem.

-mike kerr-

[Brianna Brie]

Inside out this is an strong poem with its creativity. It is a sad story of tragic love, but an enjoyable read. Thank you for entering the Missing Him, Missing Her contest.

[T.B. Odin]

Excellent display of insight. I particularly like how the ending of each reverses. Very clever and it fits perfectly. I imagine this took some thought on a very creative level.

[Wolfwind Words]

It's powerfull. I like the way you set this up, kinda like two poems in one. There are the long lines then the short lines. One is the story and they other is the chant! It is beautifully writen, even though it's sad and tragic. But thats the way life can be some times.
Hope and hugs, for your future! :)
Good writing!

[The Archangel Gabriel]

It's wonderful. They say that it is better to have loved and lost... right.

Anyways, let me try something from back in the day. Picture this in your mind:

(pat on the head sort of like a dog) while very slowly saying, "There... there... there..." as if pointing something out.

Don't you feel better? Time heals all wounds as they say. That is probably by the same people who say that it is better to have loved and lost... Who are these people, and when will they just shut up?

At least, emotional pain gives rise to some great art! Good work. Sorry about the pain. They say, "Life is pain."

Peace and love,
Gabe

[Nana Carmine]

wow- we really go through the same thing don't we- I read this and I relate to it so well but I think you know that. We'll stick together and kick our ex's asses- okay? I love you Niki. This poem is really well done though. I love it. It flows together really well.
Thank you for sharing it.

~Nana Carmine

[Brenda Sue]

So heartfelt and painful. I love the way it is written. Wonderfully penned. Great job.

[Danielle Asher]

this piece expresses your pain... I like the way you featured those particular words, like a scream. It is very clear and sad.
hope you are ok.

peace,
d