As She Dies

Eric...got a new girlfriend...

She clutches her chest,

The pain seeps through,

Her head is spinning,

With thoughts of you.

Loosing control,

Eyes filling with tears,

You think she'd be used to this,

After so many years.

Who is she? she wonders,

As she sobs on the floor.

Her heart threatens to burst,

She cannot take this anymore.

The pressure still builds,

About to destroy her chest.

Another hole in her heart,

To add to the rest.

Spinning and throbbing,

Her soul cries out,

For that time of love,

Where there was no doubt.

As the pressure builds,

The Animals cries,

His name once more,

Then in defeat it dies.

The pain and pressure,

Begins to slowly leak away,

Into printed words,

It will forever stay.

 

 

Author's Note

I felt literally like my chest was going to burst as my heart slowly exploded if I didn't write it out. Still feel like shit but I have held off the crying until I am in bed, alone, and safe from watching eyes.

Let me know what you thought. (of the poem not my little blarb)

Reviews

[The Archangel Gabriel]

Beautiful title and work of art.

I know that it is little consolation when you are feeling blue, but I have to suggest that love finds a way. If I had married the girl I was dating at your age, we could only surmise as to how miserable I would have been over the course of my life. At the time, she was really special with her saving of the animals spiel, especially the whales. But, reality kicked in, and she dropped out of the do-gooder fold. You might want to check out "Fallen Shepherds of Light" although this does not specifically reference her. It was more designed for all the lost soldiers of light throughout the years.

"Another hole in her heart,
To add to the rest."

Well said. Love is so cruel!

Peace and love,
Gabe

[George Love]

When love or friendship dies, you feel as if a part of you dies also. This is excellent work, well written and very emotional.

[Fran Marie]

A most descriptive write with emotions Deeply expressed
Well DonE!~Fran Marie

[imnoromeo215]

i simply love how this poem ends it just brings the emotion of it full circle because while it is a very sad event you still managed to take that pain and creat this beautiful poem out of it so from your pain came beauty and there is something about that just give me a great deal of hope beautiful poem I only hope that you do not have to write another one not because of lack of ability but because I dont want you to have to feel this level of pain again even though it led to such beautiful work

[Belinda Rice]

its beautiful but always know that now matter what hurts you ife does go on yes iit hurts alot but we learn from that pain and we know later on how to deal with things that happen the next time....dont ever hold a wall up cause that can control every aspect of your life,its ok to cry wether alone or some one you know you can talk to it helps to let it all out be strong dont let no one see you fall....i believe this is one of the most strongest ones i read yet.....ty for sharing it with me.

[Wolfwind Words]

a mind numbing explosion of emotional heartbroken energy.
you have captured to the flow of pain in a vision that is memorable
Good write!

[Prince of Poetry]

lol wow this is really really good so much pain in that piece sorry for your pain but an excellent write

[Legion]

"You know, I'm so sick of people and friends telling me how special I am because I have yet to date a guy that proves their convictions true." - Then perhaps you should stop and think that maybe it is the type of guys you gravitate toward. I would definetly look deeply at yourself and at them and maybe you will see a pattern that can be broken. They could be just jerks or there may be a deeper issue. I do not know you or your situation that well, but I do know that one must keep an open mind in any scenario to see what actually is happening.

[Travis Lawrence]

This piece, leaks a cry for sympathy. It is well put, too, simple, but it cuts deep. I think most everyone has felt that way at some point, if it's any consolation. I know I can relate to the experience of heartbreak, at least.

[Nana Carmine]

I'm so sorry Niki. Guys are a******s, that doesn't help you I know- but they are. What guys think about you does not define who you are as a person. You are a great person whether guys like you or not. This poem is written with such raw emotion that it is so easy for me to see what you mean but it is also tragically painful to read knowing you are in so much pain. I love you Niki and I am always going to be there for you when you need me. I really love you Niki, and I want you to be happy- and seeing you this hurt makes me sad. you will find someone who makes you happy because you deserve much more.

~Nana Carmine