The List

A poem.

Everyday I feel this burning within me,

I need to get online,

I need to see the list.

I need to see if I am there,

Eyes smiling with pride.

 

And everyday I'm filled with disappointment,

I am not on the list,

I am not good enough for it,

I am not worthy,

And I die a little inside.

 

Every night I lie awake and wonder,

Why was my name not there,

Why was someone less than me there,

Why wasn't I on the list,

Envy filling me for the others as I lie and think.

 

And every night I ask others,

If I'm actually any good at this game I play,

If they just say I'm good so as not to hurt me,

If I really do deserve to be on the list,

And they're just crazy for not putting me there.

 

The list,

Oh how it drives me isane,

Oh how I would give anything to be there,

Oh how I need to be on there,

The torture it invokes on me.

 

Damn you top writers list.

Author's Note

Yes, I was bored, and very frustrated with never being good enough to be on the top writers list.

Reviews

[T.B. Odin]

You have torn the words from my mouth. This is something all of here I'm sure experienced at one time and you have captured it wonderfully. NICE !

[Sexy Jones]

I swear I just read most of your poems and I must say, damn that top writers list.
I think your work is amazing.

[*~Poetic_Essence~*]

Ha i love it..i see where your coming from when i first got on here a month ago and that was my preset goal..to be judged as a top writer..but i soon relaized that it would come soon if i was more patient..and just stop worrying about it..i put up my best work and prayed that people felt what i was saying and took something from it after reading it..Dont take it as if you are not a good writer because of a list..judge by yourself you know if you can do better you know your strong points and what you need to work on..Only advise i can give you is to be patient and just wait on it..I hope you get what you feel you deserve and what you've been waitin on...
Well From One Word-Play Poet To The Next...Always Remember To Write With Your Heart!

s~Shanty~s

[Joseph - Michael]

Hey, you're not alone on this one, because I never gotten there, either. I've been on the top reviewers quite a few times before, but never been on the top writer. I guess maybe I'm better off becoming a reviewer rather than just a writer? Maybe not, I'll just keep on writing and just be happy to read the reviews from the others, you know? Right now, I'm happy where I'm at now, because my "The Boiling Man" got almost 100 reviews on it, so I'm happy to know that I'm a good writer. As for yourself, I'm happy to know you, because I seriously to believe that you're a good writer...

Anyway, love the way you wrote it all down and give out the surprising ending as you've set up to make us, the readers, wondering until the last minute, so it's all good here...

I'm pretty sure that the others will agree with me...

[John Sanders]

It's just a list. There's no real point, in my opinion.

Buuuuttt I can see why you are frustrated. Just keep working at it and you'll get there some day.

[An owl on the moon]

You'll make the list! Believe me! Keep writing; expressing your thoughts and feelings with your painted words. Don't ever stop; you'll only regret it and pick it up later like me! Love your ending!

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

I agree, you shouldn't worry about being a top writer. There's a lot of great writers on here that never make that list even though they should. You are a fabulous writer and that's all that matters. :) I love this poem, awesome write!!!

Heather

[George Love]

You are worthy, you are way too talented to worry about that list. Your talent outshines many on that list, so don't worry about it. Write you heart, write your heart out. You are and always will be one of the best!

[Legion]

You shouldn't worry about that list. Some on there deserve to be on there, but most of it is a popularity contest. I have read some pretty horrid stuff on there that really shouldn't be there if it is truly a top writers' list and I have read some stuff that should be there that never make it. I've only been on there twice myself and both times were very brief. Don't judge your work or your worth by such a list. Write what you desire. That is all that is important. If others like it, that is great. If not, that is just as well. It is irrelevant if you do not make someone's list. Keep on writing.

[Brenda Sue]

This is so cute. I love it. Wonderfully penned. Great job.