A Midnight Memory

A story of a vampire thinking about his life and how he regrets his life style. My halloween story hehe.

                          Staring at a blank sheet of paper, Lucien was thinking of his entire life. Centuries of running, feeding, and mourning. A small hand mirror laid on his desk, how he desired to see his reflection one last time. The last time he saw his reflection was 1543, the year he became this monster, now known as a blood sucking vampire. His life was simple then, he had a family and a small job as a freelance artist in his villa within the city Florence. He even remembered the moments when he held his small infant daughter in his hands, her name was Sylvia. Years after his "death" he watched her from afar, she married and had six chilidren, two sons and four daughters. All of them were beautiful, each displaying the looks of their mother and grandparents. Both of the sons died, at an early age too, the younger by a sickness passing through Florence, the other in a tragic accident involving him falling to his death. As he remembered all this he desired to cry, but the undead cannot cry. All the water in his body dried up long ago. Flickering in the distance of his window he saw small lights in the distance, torches perhaps, and an angry crowd heading towards his house. No doubtingly coming to burn his house to the ground and end his pathetic existence. "They can try!!" He thought. It was bound to happen sometime, every century the inhabitants of each town discover his meals and quickly react with violence. This century has been easier however, people aren't as... superstitous as the previous centuries. They blamed wild animals on the bite marks, but to his surprise a few radical towns people are coming to end him. A crease on his forehead deepened, he just might let them kill him. After all these years of running, he had enough of it! Lucien just wanted to see, feel his wife's soft dark skin and to run his hands through her thick, curly dark hair. To see her red heart shaped lips smile at him, just one more time... Closer now they become more distinct and their shouts audible. He lived here for about four years, keeping to himself. Trying to not provoke attention, but in vain; they still discovered his horrible secret. In the head of the crowd was a man he recognized as the deacon of the town church,screaming curses at Lucien's home. His eyes filled with hatred only the devil could provoke. Lucien softly placed his pen down, realizing, despite his efforts  he hadn't written one word . It wouldn't have mattered anyway, the crowd would have burned it down. Waiting for the crowd to come, wondering where fate will take him in the hour. Placing a finger to his cheek, he felt a drip of a ... tear. He silently put his finger to his mouth, tasting a tangy coppery taste he knew so well. A tear of blood. He was now ready to die, and join his family; and be with his beloved Abrielle in the afterlife. This wasn't the first time he tried to die and allow a crowd of humans to kill him. The last time this happened was 130 years ago, in his home within a small home in a town in Massachusets, his house was burned along with him, yet he survived. "Hopefully, I'll die this time" he thought outloud. Listening to the crowd coming ever closer, their torches gleaming in the dark night sky. Closing his pale gray eyes to the cackling of his small house burning, he smiled. "I'm coming my love..."

Author's Note

Constructive Criticism is welcome.

Reviews

[R.R.Louderback]

I liked this. It portrayed emotion effectively. There were a few rough sentences. I would suggest some changes as below:

"the year he became this monster, now known as a blood sucking vampire." You could drop now known as and have a stronger sentence.

"within the city Florence, Italy" would work better as "in Florence". Shorter is often better and people will assume Florency, Italy, not Florence, Arkansas, y'know?

"Trying to not provoke attention, but in vain, they still discovered his horrible secret" is a rare opportunity to use a semi-colon effectively "Trying to not provoke attention, but in vain; they still discovered his horrible secret"

"despite his efforts he didn't write not one word down" he hadn't written one word or he didn't write a single word or he had written not one word might work better.

Now all the above is largely a matter of taste, there is nothing wrong with your work. My suggestions are simply intended to offer alternatives that might be stronger, or more succinct to aid the flow of your writing. I hope they will be useful.

[Camille K.]

very nice. Only thing is this, how can an already dead person die again? good work otherwise. keep it going! :-)