Thinking Before We Speak

Thinking Before We Speak


I have pondered for several years what I wanted to do with my life. I have explored different paths that I could allow myself to go down. I find myself, today, realizing that with every interest I've had and every passion that's consumed me, one thing remains clear; my need to make a difference.


Today I listened to the conversations around me. Many consisted of horrible topics and very few, I found, to be uplifting. These voices around me spoke of others and included myself. They were not kind words. I found myself wondering if people cared for others anymore. Have we, the human race as a whole, become as hateful as the words around me would seem? Is it possible no one thinks before speaking anymore?
Is it feasible that if we took a moment to think before we spoke we'd realize the person we're speaking of may have feelings, may already be hurting, could be the way they are for reasons we could never begin to imagine? Perhaps that person is already very fragile or perhaps, God forbid, they are right around the corner about to hear each awful word we vomit about them? If we paused and asked ourselves these questions would we then withdraw our judgmental statements we were about to speak?
Sometimes the heat of the moment hits us and we speak the vicious thoughts we think. Sometimes it's overheard and sometimes no one is around to hear us. But, even worse, sometimes a human being is hurt. I would hate to think that you all would dare hurt another, or that another would dare hurt any of you. We are all guilty of being mean at one time or another. Maybe, just maybe, next time we think of judging someone we should pause for a moment and ask ourselves what is gained by it. Why should we place ourselves on a pedestal when we are no better than anyone else? Who gave us the right to judge another human being that feels what we feel and struggles with the same struggles we do? Some people, believe it or not, feel a pain like nothing we could ever know and struggle in a way that would only kill us that have never experienced it. So, again I ask, why be mean? What is it that we gain?


As I mentioned, I've realized my need to make a difference. If I cause just one of you to pause for a moment before you say something about another or even not say anything at all, I've made a small difference. I am by no means innocent of these “crimes”, but maybe by writing this, I missed an opportunity to hurt another persons feelings. And maybe, by asking you to read this, I stopped you from hurting someone else.....

That too made a difference.

-Mysty Rayn


"Before you speak, ask yourself, is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve the silence?" -Sai Baba

Reviews

[Dani California]

Mysty - wow!

This is so great! So often we speak negatively, I have really paid attention to this very thing myself lately, and am guilty as well. It seems negative conversation rolls so simply off of our tongues and too often we don't think before the words spill out... many times hurting other(s). Sometimes, we know exactly what we are doing, yet do it anyway. It's really very sad what we've become..... or perhaps, always have been. We seem to be attracted to the negative -- oddly so. For instance, the news. If it spoke of all good things, we likely wouldn't watch it. I don't watch much television, particulary the news, for that very reason. Some, really don't care about the hurt they are inflicting on others....sadly so. Some aren't aware of it, and others feel they've been wronged, so it's ok to return the favor. Such a vicious cycle. There are so many "reasons" we find to impose our negative thoughts on the world, hence the state of humanity. Yes, we should stop and think about what we say before we say it!! And also consider its potential consequences... to ourselves and others.

This is such an inspiring and awesome "stop and listen" piece! Definitely at the top of my list as its message is not only outstanding, but worthy of reading regularly and embracing daily! Thank you!

[Adela Muresan]

Beautiful, just beautiful.
A great display of humanity and intelligence.
,,Some people, believe it or not, feel a pain like nothing we could ever know and struggle in a way that would only kill us that have never experienced it,, these words would provoke pleasure to many, in fact the hated one's pain is one of the greatest pleasures.
There sure is going to be a while before we will be able to renounce our ,,dark,, sides.

A.M.

[Pink Poison]

Funny that Dani California would ask me to read this when I have just been researching verbally abusive relationships and sociopathic behaviors. I realized, as I read about the verbal abuse that, when I am angry, I tend to become VERY verbally abusive. It doesn't matter how much I love someone, I try to wound them with words. I felt guilty as I read and realized that and your article simply reinforces it all.

I think it goes back to the Biblical principal of "Do unto others" which we also tend to forget. "Say unto others" is almost more important because physical wounds heal far more quickly than emotional ones. There are negative things people said about me or about me years and years ago that I still remember today, and it still hurts. I am extremely guilty of this kind of behavior.

Thanks for opening my eyes & allowing me to look at things from another angle. Your article is one that hit hard and, I hope, will make a difference in the way I treat others. Well written and very thought provoking.

[Angel's Lady]

Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

Wonderful job you've done, and I couldn't agree with you more. I think kindness must've skipped a generation somewhere. When I see a kind act performed by a younger person, I try to always thank them for being polite. I think somewhere about the time we started assuming it was okay for women to be commonly referred to as "b*****s" is along about the time we stopped respecting ourselves to a certain degree.

Great write! Thank you for writing this.

[Angelic Darkness]

This is such a factual poem, and as you said, we are all
convicted of doing this. I have often wondered, don't people
have compasssion anymore? Society is sad. We should worry '
about our own faults instead of sticking our noses into others.

Thank you for making me pause. AD

[brita]

Great, I loved it. This is a point I've always tried to make: If your slate is not clean, don't judge.
There's so many people in this world who have absolutely no reguard for others, and it's like...what tauht them to be that way. This story says to me, we are all guilty of the same crime, but keep in mind we were not put on this earth to discriminate.
Very nice work. I love the message you're getting across.

[Enigma]

I won't lie on this outstanding piece of writing. I have stopped myself from blowing up at many situations and have some control over myself on that part. I am not mean to anyone, atleast till the time I don't get irritated. After that, I know, I turn into a monster.
My words though, are not clear. They have hurt a lot. But not others. They hurt me. My own words hurt me.Ironic, isn't it?
But congratulations, my friend. Your writing did make a difference. A huge one in fact. From now, maybe, I'll think before talking to myself like that. Yeah! It pains a lot and it'd be very difficult, but I'll give it a try...
About the writing now, I really, have to words to tell you how talented you are or how outstanding a piece your writing it. It is as if you're talking to me from behind the screen...
The message you wanted to convey is crystal clear and it couldn't be represented in a more perfect way. The writing is spellbinding, you know.
I loved it!! I enjoyed it!! It taught me a valuable lesson today...
Keep up the great work, O talented one! *chuckle*
TERRIFIC!! FANTASTIC!! SIMPLY AWESOME!!!

[alternative_be]

This was sent to me by Dani California. I am very glad she sent it to me because just like you I have made up a personal resum� of all the things that I have accomplished in my life and I have come to a similar conclusion as you have: I want to make a stand which makes a difference and which makes me stand out in the crowd in a positive way. Well, I have made the first steps, you can call me environmentally challenged ... In order to change, I am about to move to the country among other things.
The other things are very well listed in your story. While I was reading yours, I had the distinctive feeling this could be me, writing a similar story. These things are going on at several levels, family, friends, your neighbourhood, your work (even in workfields where you would not expect it) and also here in the virtual world.
For now, I have defined who I want to be in an official way. Deep down inside, I have known all along, who I am. Only now that I have come of age (43 LOL), I have the courage to make my stand and go for it!
Reading your story has motivated me even more!

[Mr. Lopez]

I think that you should be very proud of yourself for voicing what many need to hear. I myself have been known to be guilty of said"crimes" not realizing the distructive pain of my own words. Having been humbled of my ways I now see things much differently and have made a conscous effort to follow the path of consideration. This write confirms what i've been saying to myself in recent years and what I hope to someday master. I hope that you reach many hearts and rattle many minds with this outstanding write.

Mr. Lopez

[Wildfleour]

Dani requested I read this. I am very mindful of what you wrote about here. I'm glad I'm not alone.

(One nitpick - you need to fix your paragraphing)

[Amanda]

this is a take notice type of write...and you are absolutely right. i was taught as a child that if you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all. that was a good teaching and also good advice. though i try and do just that, i too, like all the rest of us, am guilty of this crime. i know that sometimes we express our opinions, but in doing so, sometimes we can hurt the ones we are talking about. if we all stopped and thought about what we were going to to say, the world would be a much better place.

this was sent to me by Dani California and i am grateful that she did...i appreciate the words that you have spoken so candidly and i am glad that someone else is thinking of others before themselves.

thanks for sharing this... :)

Always,

Amanda