Thinking Before We Speak

Thinking Before We Speak


I have pondered for several years what I wanted to do with my life. I have explored different paths that I could allow myself to go down. I find myself, today, realizing that with every interest I've had and every passion that's consumed me, one thing remains clear; my need to make a difference.


Today I listened to the conversations around me. Many consisted of horrible topics and very few, I found, to be uplifting. These voices around me spoke of others and included myself. They were not kind words. I found myself wondering if people cared for others anymore. Have we, the human race as a whole, become as hateful as the words around me would seem? Is it possible no one thinks before speaking anymore?
Is it feasible that if we took a moment to think before we spoke we'd realize the person we're speaking of may have feelings, may already be hurting, could be the way they are for reasons we could never begin to imagine? Perhaps that person is already very fragile or perhaps, God forbid, they are right around the corner about to hear each awful word we vomit about them? If we paused and asked ourselves these questions would we then withdraw our judgmental statements we were about to speak?
Sometimes the heat of the moment hits us and we speak the vicious thoughts we think. Sometimes it's overheard and sometimes no one is around to hear us. But, even worse, sometimes a human being is hurt. I would hate to think that you all would dare hurt another, or that another would dare hurt any of you. We are all guilty of being mean at one time or another. Maybe, just maybe, next time we think of judging someone we should pause for a moment and ask ourselves what is gained by it. Why should we place ourselves on a pedestal when we are no better than anyone else? Who gave us the right to judge another human being that feels what we feel and struggles with the same struggles we do? Some people, believe it or not, feel a pain like nothing we could ever know and struggle in a way that would only kill us that have never experienced it. So, again I ask, why be mean? What is it that we gain?


As I mentioned, I've realized my need to make a difference. If I cause just one of you to pause for a moment before you say something about another or even not say anything at all, I've made a small difference. I am by no means innocent of these “crimes”, but maybe by writing this, I missed an opportunity to hurt another persons feelings. And maybe, by asking you to read this, I stopped you from hurting someone else.....

That too made a difference.

-Mysty Rayn


"Before you speak, ask yourself, is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve the silence?" -Sai Baba

Reviews

[Dani California]

Mysty - wow!

This is so great! So often we speak negatively, I have really paid attention to this very thing myself lately, and am guilty as well. It seems negative conversation rolls so simply off of our tongues and too often we don't think before the words spill out... many times hurting other(s). Sometimes, we know exactly what we are doing, yet do it anyway. It's really very sad what we've become..... or perhaps, always have been. We seem to be attracted to the negative -- oddly so. For instance, the news. If it spoke of all good things, we likely wouldn't watch it. I don't watch much television, particulary the news, for that very reason. Some, really don't care about the hurt they are inflicting on others....sadly so. Some aren't aware of it, and others feel they've been wronged, so it's ok to return the favor. Such a vicious cycle. There are so many "reasons" we find to impose our negative thoughts on the world, hence the state of humanity. Yes, we should stop and think about what we say before we say it!! And also consider its potential consequences... to ourselves and others.

This is such an inspiring and awesome "stop and listen" piece! Definitely at the top of my list as its message is not only outstanding, but worthy of reading regularly and embracing daily! Thank you!

[Andrea A. Wentz]

Thumper said it best, "If you can't say something nice.....don't say anything at all."

So much about today's society is about us, the individual. Not us, the human race. We're dehumanizing eachother. Hiding the obvious fact that every person has feelings just as we do. You brought this fact out beautifully, not by attacking or lecturing, but by asking questions encouraging the reader to think. Thank you for sharing this. More people should be writting things like this and maybe things would change a little faster. Kudos Mysty!

[RHEA CROSLEY]

Very well written and true. We all sometimes speak to fast and do not realize the ramifications not only on the one we are speaking to but those they effect. "No man is an island" and you have given some clear insight into the negative ripple we create by venting on others our steamy wrath. Thanks for the encouragement towards wisdom.

[lauren emily]

This is just--wow! This makes you think for a minute about how to handle a situation. Before we speak, we have to consider that persons feelings. Even if they aren't going through a hard time or anything, it's still not alright for us to start talking smack to them, no matter what.
A lot of people--and I admit, even myself at times--don't think before we speak or act, and we can hurt a person very badly. I think you are making a difference by showing people this piece of writing, it's very powerful and it can definitely change the way people think.
Very, VERY nice work,
~Lauren

[fireblossom]

We are like children playing in a sand box. There is a larger more compelling force with hand on the bell button. When will we be called in from play?

In this poem you describe one result of our rejection of our Creators moral guidance. Those who still believe in man's ability to rise above what is evidenced in his own history will say "We just need to learn and advance and, and...." We have had ample time to prove or disprove our ability to govern ourselves. This small scene portraying hurtful careless, thoughtless words is magnified in Iraq, Iran, North Korea, New York, Los Angeles, Beijing. We like to point to "moments" of greatness. Fine. It proves we have the inner desire to change. BUT it is my contention, stated peacefully and with respect, that we will never change the disastrous course we have collectively chosen, without assistance from outside of our sandbox.

This story represents a positive step for the writer. It confirms the writers desire to resist mans imperfect and hurtful ways. Well written.

[Carrie Montgomery]

I have often thought along these very same lines. I am working on a degree in teaching and have studied special needs in particular. I have over-heard many people who have said things such as : "well, my OCD must be acting up" or "she is ssoo retarded"...I always cringe because these people are studying to practice a profession where they will deal with people who either have special needs or know/love someone who does! How insensitive can you be?!?! I wish more people would start "thinking before they speak"! This is an important message and I wish more people would receive it and take it to heart! You "spoke" very well and CLEARLY you have a tender and caring heart!

[Jenny Davis]

I have always thought that if we spent a day in someone else's shoes...we'd get a better idea of what it's like to be them. I try not to say things to hurt others, yet I sometimes get caught up in a moment myself. The good news is that we can all learn from our mistakes if we are willing. I think this piece is wonderful as it brings light to those still in the dark. Excellent food for thought :)

[Sharon Miller Bolander]

It's easier to criticize another than to take criticism ourselves, but criticism often speaks louder about the giver than the intended victim. Gossip and rumors work in much the same way. Your message is clear and deserves much more than a passing glance. Sharon

[bluessadmood]

what you say here is great ,i wish to be dreamy as you ,but i know no body will ever take heed of what you say ,the world is getting worse and worse life is getting unbearable with all the advances in all streams of life you would think our life is changing for the better,but its never that way everything is getting worse,i just love your words ,i think good people will love it, bad one will just say,whats is this!!!

[Dizzy-Izzy]

"It's better to keep your mouth shut and look a fool, than to open it up and remove all doubt." - Mark Twain

There are so many ways we communicate... right? Words are said as the end of our rope is slipping through our fingers... they are hurled as heavy artillery in the most calculated way... they are said with passion and deep devotion... they are hidden and communicated almost without our knowing about it.

I feel like the kid on the Sixth Sense... he saw dead people, I hear what isn't being said... I hate it, makes me feel crazy... er.

I am definitely guilty of saying what I shouldn't. I know the minute it comes out... makes me think of Jiffy Pop. Remember that? The popcorn you shake on top of the stove and watch as the foil thing expands... People need sturdier foil things... to hold back the hurtful words that are just waiting to explode.

Discernment, is not only knowing the right thing to say, but the right time to say it. Sometimes you have to speak your mind or lose a little piece of your soul. You don't have control (ooo- scary) over how your words are going to be received, so speaking up may cost you a relationship with someone else, not speaking... the one you have with yourself.

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

You said it best when you said, the awful words we vomit. People are so selfish, it's easy to talk about love and caring and making it a better world. It starts from one, and the domino effect, have a good a good day can spread just as nicely as, that so and so SOB rumor. I always heard you can catch more flies with honey then vingar, who wants flies, but if we share the sweet things in life we could all live better lives. It's just a matter of respect and sincere concern.

We learn to do for others because it's the right thing not because it's expected. I've heard people say when it was time to donate to for some one, in sickness or death in their family, Oh I just gave for such, I mean it's out of your heart that you give and that how we show we care for each other as humans. Love and care as you wish to be loved and cared.

We don't have to agree with each other, but it would be nice if we respect each other.