Addiction

My addiction to pain.

High again
That's the way you make me feel
Like a drug
The way you invade my head
With every hit
No I just can't quit
So addicted
To the feeling that I get
I need you
I want you
I have to have you
You are my fix
You are what runs through my veins
You are my everlasting pain.

Author's Note

I am not good with grammar so any help would be great. Please let me know what you think of my work and feel free to leave any kind of feedback. Thanks!

Reviews

[Amber]

I really like this. It can go either way as far as poem/song. Keep up the good work!!

[MystiqFairy]

I'm glad you like it, thanks for reading it!

[Amber]

Thank you for posting!

[Poem for Your Sprog]

Very nice. This sounds like it would make good lyrics to a song.

[MystiqFairy]

Thanks, I never thought of that :)

[Hana Renee]

i love it

[MystiqFairy]

I'm so glad you love it! Thanks!

[Frieda P]

It's concise and packed with emotion, I like the juxtaposition of pain and pleasure, nice read.

[MystiqFairy]

Thank you!

[Wonderful Letdown]

For this poem, no stanza's is a good thing!! How I read it, it almost seems like a rap and having stanza's would interrupt that flow. I can't find anything wrong with this other than punctuation (which I'm not the best at either, but as I said with the whole rap-thing, having to much punctuation would interrupt the flow).

And sorry for being such a nit-picky reviewer, but if someone asks me to review I will point out what I see wrong and hopefully they'll grow from it, I mean no disrespect.

Anyways, I like how you've described enjoying pain. 'Cause many cutters will tell you that it's like a drug you cannot stop, no matter how much you want to. I think you've captured that perfectly in this. Plus I love the whole fact that it flows like a rap when I read it. The colour of the font is also quite easy to read this time 'round.

Good job!! Keep up the awesome writing!!

[MystiqFairy]

Thanks so much! I really appreciate your input!

[Elaine]

The great thing about poetry is that technical writing doesn't really apply so don't worry too much about your grammar unless it is absolutely atrocious.

What I like about this poem is that it' torn between loving and hating the feeling of being addicted. In simple terms it gets the message across. Good job.

I would suggest though that you remove the line "Even when I hear your voice". It doesn't really fit and disrupts the flow. Still though, good job!

[MystiqFairy]

Thanks so much! I took that line out. I'm glad you understood the meaning!