Autumn

A story about a girl' named Marissa who grew up without a family, without love. A story that inspires humanity and compassion in all who reads what changes her life one Autumn day.

Always and forever a thinker and a dreamer. This is the story of Marissa. A teenage girl who through her determination and ambition went from a foster kid that no one wanted to a college graduate to a highly acclaimed surgeon.

13 year old Marissa was no stranger to disappointment and heartache. Her mother was a heroin addict. Marissa was taken from her mother at the age of two and given to her mother's cousin Carrie.

Her mother Shannon had been 17 when she had Marissa and the last thing she wanted was to be tied down with some baby she never wanted in the first place. She was born in Chicago Illinois in the dead of winter during a brutal blizzard. Her mother barely made it onto the ambulance before Marissa made her debut. The ambulance was at a stand still on the freeway. No one could see anything at all. So traffic had come to a complete stop. There it would remain for hours until visibility was barely possible. The EMTs would do what they could for the very young mother and baby with what they had. Shannon was too fixated on herself and how she would be able to get out of this f*****g ambulance so she could do what she lived for, getting  high. 

She had known Marissa's father for a total of 3 days before he left on the fourth night to meet up with his plug at some shady bar across town. He had said he'd be back but in the nine months she had what she only viewed as a mere inconvenience that she had no interest in caring for. She was glad it was over with and she could finally have her body back. No more people telling her to think about the baby or at least stay clean long enough so that she wouldn't harm that baby. She was over it. She just wanted to get to her plug's usual location and get this sick feeling to go away. 

As soon as the ambulance made it to the hospital, Shannon was on a phone tracking down where Los was so she could get right.

Too busy to answer any of the nurses questions they finally gave up and focused on getting Marissa cleaned up and swaddled, the only comfort Marissa was granted since the six hours she had been on earth. 

She cried incessantly from hunger but Shannon promptly ignored her daughter and gave into the sleepiness she had felt. At least she could escape her s****y situation for some time by succumbing to sleep. The nurses asked her if she would try and feed Marissa at least a little before she slept but she refused. "No way am I doing that!" Shannon exclaimed, referring to breastfeeding her baby. "Can't you just give her a bottle so she will shut up?" she asked angrily

The nurses tried to explain that in the very least the first colostrum is really important and provides antibodies and key nutrients that help newborns for months to come. 

Shannon wouldn't even consider it. "No. I'm not doing that. I've already had to carry her for almost an entire year, all she has done is make me sick, give me stretch marks and make me fat. She can take a freaking bottle!"

The nurses shook their heads and all felt so sorry for Marissa being born to such a selfish woman. When Marissa's blood work came back and was positive for opioids there was nothing they could do as due to Shannon being on the ambulance, stuck for hours, she had been given pain medication through an IV. So there was no way to prove that she had tested positive because in reality, Shannon had been doing heroin her entire pregnancy. She hadn't stopped drinking either but unfortunately for Marissa by the time they had been able to run her blood work the alcohol in Shannons' system was all but out of her system. 

Marissa was sent home with Shannon. Shannon would leave Marissa home alone for hours from the very beginning she was in her care. She would barely feed her enough to keep Marissa from starving and Marissa suffered terrible diaper rashes as Shannon would change her diaper when it was so full it would run down Marissa's little legs. She spent so much time thrown in a make shift play pen with filthy blankets from the hospital suffering from painful rashes and hunger.

Finally at the age of 3 Shannon had left Marissa alone for so long that a neighbor called DFACS. She had walked by the apartment and could see and hear a toddler crying all alone for hours. 

DFACS was able to take Marissa from that hell hole immediately to a foster home for children that were all just like Marissa. Children ranging from newborn to a 16 year old resided there. This was one of the many foster care homes that housed kids who were unwanted, abused, neglected and felt alone and unloved. At the very least Marissa was happy to have food and a warm clean bed to sleep in.

Marissa would wonder to herself what had she done to deserve to be cast aside like trash. Why wouldn't someone love her? Was she a bad girl? Had she done something wrong to make her own mother not care about her at all?

Marissa was only in this foster home for two weeks before she was sent to live with her mother's cousin, Carrie. DFACS had looked for family members first, hoping someone that was kin would take the child. They had found Carrie through Shannon's emergency contact from her last year she had attended high school.

Carrie was a nursing student about to graduate and had already been accepted in a hospital located in downtown Chicago. When she'd first listened to the voicemail the caseworker had left she was in complete shock. Shannon had been her best friend when they were young girls. Their mothers were sisters and when Shannon had been born, her mother Gail lived with her parents while she finished getting her pharmacy technician degree. Carrie's mom Gretchen had married and lived only a few houses down from her parent's home so the two girls being so close in age became inseparable. That was until Carrie's first year of high school. Her mother remarried and then moved to Michigan with her new husband. Carrie had begged to stay with her grandparents, her school, her friends, everything she had known her whole life. Her mother refused saying a daughter belonged with her mother. Gretchen insisted Shannon would love their new home, her new school, she could be a cheerleader like she had always wanted. 

It didn't take long for Shannon to start hanging out with a bad group of kids. She quickly started smoking, drinking then skipping class. Her mother would ground her but she would sneak out and be gone for days. Her mother had made so many police reports that they stopped coming out and would tell her they would send her to juvie if she wanted but since she wouldn't stop running away they were not going to keep wasting resources on some out of control teen who was drinking and doing drugs.

The last time Shannon ran away she had already dropped out of school completely. This time when she showed back up after ghosting her mother for nearly a month her mother had finally had enough. She told Shannon to leave and not come back. Shannon had caused her mother to miscarry and she had other children she had to protect.

Obviously Shannon was a lost cause and her mother wouldn't allow her back in her home. She was a horrible example to her younger siblings and her mom was sick of Shannon's wild behavior that made everyone call Gretchen a bad mom.

So Shannon was on her own. She would stay with friends or she'd get a motel room sometimes making money running packages for Drake or making runs from Michigan to Chicago. She knew if she got caught, due to her being a minor she wouldn't do much time.

                                   Chapter 2

 When the caseworker dropped Marissa off at Carrie's she gave Carrie a brief rundown of what Marissa had been through and assured her that despite all of this the only thing that may alarm Carrie is that Marissa was terrified of the dark. After the trauma of Shannon leaving Marissa alone at home, many times without electricity , it  made Marissa truly scared of the dark. She also had abandonment issues with her caregivers. If one of them that she had spent time with would leave, even just long enough to use the restroom, Marissa would sit outside the door of the bathroom silently crying. If a caregiver she grew attached to would have to leave her for any amount of time , a grocery shopping trip or a mandatory meetings that many caregivers were required to attend, Marissa would curl up in the fetal position and cry herself to sleep. She was so used to her mother walking out and leaving her, it would automatically remind Marissa of her past trauma she wouldn't scream or have a temper tantrum, she would just cry and cry. Many times she couldn't be consoled.

The caseworker waved at Marissa who was hugging onto her brown teddy bear on Carrie's sofa next to a small trash bag that had the few belongings that Marissa had, her big green eyes looked up at Carrie. Carrie could see the strong resemblance to Shannon. She was her spitting image. She had Shannons natural curly golden locks, her big emerald  green eyes and her high cheekbones with perfectly flawless olive skin.

"Marissa, I'm Carrie honey. I know you don't know me from the man on the moon but I promise you I am going to take care of you and love you and give you the best life I possibly can. I will make sure that you go to really good schools and grow up to be a lawyer or maybe even a doctor. Whatever you want to be, just as long as you are safe and happy" she smiled. She was eye level to Marissa as she spoke. "Let's go get you some new outfits and shoes" she said while looking into the trash bag, her heartbreaking. All that was contained was a dirty pink princess blanket, a small purple and blue shirt that looked two sizes too small, a pair of black leggings and a sippy cup that held remnants of what appeared to be apple juice.

That same evening when they came back from shopping Carrie showed Marissa her extra room. While hanging up the jackets, the adorable outfits, one pink and green jumpsuit with "Bubbly" written on it, another cheetah print leggings that were pink and black all over, another outfit with a lavender top with "princess" written across the chest with black glitter pants , a beautiful long frilly teal dress, and tons of other high end tops and bottoms, hung up neatly in her closet. Her new packs of underwear and socks filled one drawer , another filled with more pajamas that one little girl really needs, after she had put all of her new beautiful clothes away she opened up the sheets and comforter that was pink with silver sparkly crowns all over. She hung up the pink and white canopy curtains that to Marissa's amazement had fairy lights all throughout the mesh material. 

"This way we can turn your fairy lights on so you won't be afraid of the dark aaaaand I silver princess nightlight that we will plug up right here next to your bedside table so we can turn your princess lamp off and it will still be bright ok?" Carrie asked her still putting all the  unicorns, mermaids and princess decor all over the room that Marissa couldn't have even imagined. She smiled and hugged Carrie "Thank you! It's so beautiful! Is it really for me?" she asked almost as if in disbelief.

"Of course it's all for you silly! This is your room. Everything in here belongs to you. Marissa, I know that people have abandoned you your whole life but I promise I am never going to leave you. You are safe. You are loved sweet girl."

That night after her bubble bath and pizza for dinner, for the first time ever, Marissa felt cared for.

                                             Chapter 3

It was Autumn. Marissa had just finished with her first trimester in the 3rd grade. School was out for Fall break and even though Carrie was a Neonatal nurse in downtown Chicago she always made time to spend with Marissa. They would do everything together. They would go down to the Navy Pier and ride the ferris wheel, they would visit the many museums in downtown Chicago, they would take boat rides while Carrie would take a million pictures, every fall they would take a trip to the farms on the outskirts of Illinois, away from the hustle and bustle of the city, they would ride horses and feed the farm animals, they would go to the cinema and see every new kid movie that came out. 

While Carrie worked she had hired a lady named Mary Thorton to watch Marissa. She had been watching her since Marissa had turned 3 and Carrie decided that daycare wasn't what she wanted for Marissa. This way Marissa would still be in her own environment and familiar with who was watching her,

Mary had know Carrie since she was in middle school, Mary and her husband Rob had attended the same Catholic church Carrie's entire family had been members of since before Carrie was born. Mary even taught Sunday school for years, even after Carrie stopped attending regularly. When she had been on the night shift she knew she couldn't just hire anyone to babysit Marissa.

Mary's children were all grown up. Her youngest had started his first year at the same college Carrie had graduated from. When Mary asked her if she could babysit Marissa Mary had been delighted.

So when Carrie was late coming home on that Friday, Mary instantly knew in her heart something was wrong.

She and Marissa had plans to eat ice cream sundaes and watch the new Beauty & Beast that night and she couldn't wait. She absolutely loved the Disney princesses Belle was her favorite.

Carrie wasn't answering her phone and as the hours passed by a feeling of dread fell over both Mary and Marissa. Mary knew that Carrie was always punctual and reliable. Carrie was literally the most responsible person Mary knew. There wasn't hell or high water that could keep Carrie from Marissa.

When Mary called Rob even though she went in another room, Marissa could hear the fear in her voice. "I've called the hospital twice. They said she left at the end of her shift,,,yes I know,,,,Should I call the police? It's Chicago. It's only been a few hours so they probably won't even show up....Yes. I know. ...I just know that something bad has happened....Oh God. But I've checked to see any reports of car accidents....I'm worried sick Rob." Marissa didn't want to hear anymore. She went to her bedroom and tried to hold back her tears. 

It wasn't long before Mary coaxed her to come and eat. "We can watch a different movie if you want to"she said calmly.

Marissa nibbled on her Mac and cheese. She just wanted for Mama to come home. Just walk through the door with a reasonable explanation like maybe her phone was lost. Or maybe it got damaged somehow. She finished her bubble tea. She lost her phone and is on her way home right now she thought to herself. Please God. Make Carrie come home.

It would be 3am when the police officers knocked on the door. Mary had drifted off to sleep on the sofa. Marissa ran into the living room right as the officer said the words shot. Gas station. She didn't make it. Mary almost collapsed. "No. No. It can't be her. You must have made a mistake. She probably was mugged and someone else had her purse" she cried, tears streaming down her face.

The officer spoke gently "No Ma"am. We positively identified Ms. Karington. She was right beside her red Camry. I'm so sorry"

"Yes that's it! So many people drive her same car. It must just look like hers" she tried reasoning the impossibility that it was anyone but Carrie.

"Ma'am, the car is registered in her name, to this address. Her wallet was inside her purse right next to where she was found, the witnesses say she had just swiped her credit card, started pumping and was reaching inside her vehicle. There is also CCTV footage" the second officer explained. "Again, we are so sorry. This is the Detective's card who is handling the case. You can call him in a day or two so you can claim her." he said in a hushed whispers, as he had seen Marissa peeking into the foyer, listening to the most awful news she would ever hear.

  

                                     Chapter 4

As Carrie pulled into the BP she was glad to see that it wasn't terribly busy so she could just pull right up and get her gas and be on her way. Work had been a bit more intense these past few days. It seemed as if half of Chicago was pregnant and going into labor. She usually loved her job very much but when a strung out mother gives birth to twins that are addicted to drugs and going through withdrawals , it's those cases you want to cease to exist. The mother had been there four years in a row. She just kept getting pregnant and giving birth to children who would suffer. They would go through terrible withdraws, they may have other medical conditions as well because of the mother's drug use, many times these babies had learning difficulties later in life, they were more likely to suffer from mental illnesses or medical issues often going into adulthood, and this had been proven to increase the likelihood that they become addicts.

Carrie tried so hard to always stay professional and never allow her emotions to get the best of her but sometimes she just really wanted to take a hold of those women and knock some sense into them. How can a person be so selfish? And then not just doing this to one innocent baby but continuing to get pregnant with baby after baby addicted to substances without a thought or care for her own children!

Carrie slid out of her driver's seat and pulled her credit card out, swiped it and as she went to put the card back into her purse she hears a loud bang and everything goes black.

Derrick had been in Dre's passenger seat. as they were passing the BP they spotted the men of their rival gang parked at the BP. Dre quickly turned in as Derrick, everyone called D, grabbed his switch out of his joggers. His red hoodie was already up and he aimed at their car and pulled the trigger. It happened so fast , it was over just as quickly. The green Tahoe's tires screeched loudly as Dre sped off in the direction they had been coming from. They had to get to the freeway with lightening speed. They were back at the trap house off of Chicago Ave. before Derrick's adrenaline stopped pumping. He drove it to the back of the two story brick home and parked it as far in the yard, under the Oak tree. They hopped out and quickly threw a tarp over the Tahoe. They made their way up the stairs into the back door. 

As usual there were three of his homies sitting at the kitchen table bagging up dope and weighing it. Almost everyone had a blunt in their mouth making the entire downstairs filled with smoke. It reeked of pressure. Good weed that they kept on deck. Liquor bottles cluttered the table in front of the kitchen window and at least half of the counter space in the kitchen. It wasn't unusual for the guys to have some females over, especially if she was one of the females that all the homies knew. Most of them grew up here on the West side, any inner city kid from Chicago was a dope boy or a shooter,  almost every kid that grew up in this neighborhood had to at least be  affiliated . Chicago is well known for it's gang violence. There weren't many places in the world that were more ruthless and cutthroat than the streets of Chicago.

It was normal to anyone that had lived in the city for more than a few months to see drug deals, addicts passed out all over the city, especially the train stations and the hangout spots where they will all gather to shoot up. Tents line many streets in Chicago, where so many reside, even in the brutal winters.

Derrick and Dre began bragging as soon as they walked in. How they were on their way back from doing a drop off when they noticed a car full of dudes from their rival gang. The same group that had killed Kilo's little brother only weeks before as get back for Derrick's homeboys running in their trap house and robbing it, leaving 3 of their members dead inside after taking over a 100k in product and cash.

Derrick laughs as he tells them he shot up their car with 4 of their members parked at the gas station. He pulled up on them with a switch and instantly 30 bullets went flying. He just knew once Kilo saw all the work he just put in, he would have to bump him up the ranks and then Derrick could start making some real money so he could finally  move his Aunt Tasha out of the crime riddled neighborhood she and his cousins had lived their whole life. She worked six days out the weak at the elderly care facility but that barely was enough money to cover all their bills and keep food on the table.

"Yo I bet it's gonna be on the 11 o'clock news bruh. Let's see how much damage them n****s took. I prolly got all fo" he boasted

The other dudes laughed and dapped him up. "Hell yeah. Bet them boys got what they had coming to em. For Kilo's brother, lil' C" Smooth held up a shot of liquor as a toast. "For lil'C " they all replied in unison, holding up their drinks.

The nightly news did report about the deadly shooting at the BP gas station it wasn't' the news they were so sure that would be reported. "I'm Danielle with Chicago 11 o'clock news here on Channel 10, where Carrie Karington, a 26 year old nurse was shot and killed this evening while pumping gas. Witnesses say that it all happened so quickly. Brandon Goodman age 10 had just gone in to buy a pop when he took was shot coming out of the store, he is in critical condition at the hospital, doctors aren't very optimistic that he will survive his injuries and Carl Thomas a 76 year old vet was in his daughter's car as he took was shot and later died on the way to the hospital. Here is Sheriff Moore with a statement to the public"

The camera focuses on the officer , Sheriff Moore speaks in a calm and serious tone looking directly at the camera" We have identified both gangs involved in this senseless shooting. We have witnesses and footage from CCTV from at least 3 separate cameras. I am here to tell you this, justice will be served to all of those involved. I don't care if it's the person who pulled the trigger or the driver, I am coming for every last one of you that participated in this atrocious criminal act. Me and my team will not stop until we bring them to justice and they are sent to rot in a very small prison cell. We want to give our condolences to the 3 victim's that were caught in the cross fires and injured and killed for someone else's utter stupidity, " he pauses and he points directly into the camera "for those who are responsible for these innocent lives lost, I am coming for you. I will go to the end of the earth to bring you to justice. you can run but you won't be able to hide for long. You will see my face again. To the people of the city of Chicago, I assure you that I won't rest until justice prevails"

Danielle is back on camera "That was Sheriff Moore and I am Danielle Sullivan with your news at 11. Back to you Frank"

Derrick is so angry he throws his bottle at the wall where it crashes and breaks in a heap on the floor. "That is bullshit! This can't be true! I shot their f*****g car! Not anywhere else! And not one of them is hit?!?" he glares at the tv screen that has now been shut off.

" Yo D we gotta get out this city like now" Smooth exclaims grabbing the keys to the Jeep they kept down the street in the cut, down the alley.

Derrick followed suit, grabbing his Chicago Bears black cap off the kitchen counter and heading for the back door. He knew Loks was already on the phone with Kilo ,filling him in on what had just transpired but Kilo had already seen the news and was halfway there giving out commands. 

Derrick made it to his place within a few minutes . his Aunt Tasha had lived in the same government housing for the past 15 years just a few blocks away from their main trap house Derrick had just left. Aunt Tasha had just finished her shift at the assisted living for the elderly and was in the kitchen putting away groceries.

"Aunt Tasha I gotta leave for a hot minute. I dunno when I'm gonna make it back" he said heading down the hall to the room he shared with his cousin Tyrone who was in his last year of high school, and had already been accepted into NYU in the fall. Tyrone had made his Mama proud by staying out the streets and finishing school. Derrick would call him a nerd and a bookworm calling him lame for not even smoking or drinking. Deep down though. he was proud of him and wished he had never allowed the street life to pull him in.   

Derrick had been 12 when he joined up and 13 when he caught his first body. He would forever have that terrible night run through his mind for the rest of his life. Everyone had dapped him up and they celebrated by throwing him a party as if he had done something good like graduation. He still could taste and smell the blood thick in the air as it splattered all over the walls, floor and his shoes. He hadn't ever officially met Gman but he had seen him around and knew his face. Gman had worked right under Kilo for years. Kilo found out he was skimming off the top for months. So instead of him doing it himself he had come to Derrick with an opportunity. This would let him know if he could trust Derrick or not. "I gotta see you got heart lil dude." he said "Can't have no weak mafuckers round me" he said laughing, giving Derrick a shove "Only got killas and shooters in my circle. You can't be soft in these streets D or they'll swallow you whole, you feel me?" he asked

Derrick nodded. He wasn't no softie by any means. S**t, life had been whooping his a*s since the day he had been born.

Derrick remembered seeing Gman's baby mama at the corner store just days after he'd bodied him. She walked in. Her stomach fully round, like she would burst any minute. She had smeared mascara on her face from crying. She was buying chips and pop, counting out change to hand to the cashier. 

"You are 2 dollars short" the cashier.

She looked embarrassed and went to put one of the items back when Derrick handed her a 20 dollar bill.

"Oh no. It's ok. I can just put this back" she stammered

"Take it. I insist" Derrick said

"Thank you" she gave him a weak smile and then disappeared out the store's barred doors.