In The Midst

Fictional

My name was Marissa. I was thirteen. I was murdered. This is my story.

A cold and dreary November day. The leaves blew silently in the wind. It was eerily quiet in the house. There was no music, no laughter and it seemed as if there was no life. So very different than the days that had just passed. But that seemed like lifetimes ago. Back when I was alive. 

Not anymore. Not after that night.

My mom and my siblings' world had shattered beneath them.  

Just yesterday I had come bursting through the door after school, my mother in the kitchen making dinner.

"Mom! Mom! I made it! I am on the team!" I exclaimed excitingly. " I made the cheerleading squad!"

My mother, Blair hugged me tight "I'm so proud of you! I knew you could do it!" she told me. I was her spitting image. My long black curls hanging down my back and my eyes so brown almost black. My excitement danced in them.

My little sister, four year old Marley came bouncing into the room. "Marissa, look at what I drew today" she said and held up a very colorful picture of squiggles and lines.

"It's beautiful" I told her taking the picture and tacking it up on the fridge with a Mickey Mouse magnet.

Marley had always been my baby, since the day she was born. I held her 5 pounds 6 ounces and that was it. From that day forth I would have taken her to school with me had they let me.

She grinned big and I hugged her tight. " How was your day?" I asked 

"It was great! I went to the park and drew this piture and I didn't even hafta take a nap" she replied

I laughed.

Blair snapped back to the present, the tears streaming down her face.Her entire world seemed as if it had come to an abrupt end. She gazed out the window where the leaves blew in a whirlwind of color. The tire swing swung on the barren tree. It had been my favorite spot as a young child. I had been just four years old when we moved into the Victorian home on  Sweet Water Lakes Lane.

My father was long gone, had left my mother years ago with her five children. Matt was the oldest. At 21 he was a college student at Virginia State. Michael was 16, making good grades in all his high school classes with a bright future with a football scholarship. Then me, at 13 , I loved school and my teachers. I loved church and my  youth group.  Mason was 7 and in the second grade. He was a handful for Mom. He preferred being outside with his friends more than anything else. Then there was Marley, who was 4 and the youngest. She had a bubbly persona and was bright beyond her years. Her tight black curls and big brown eyes and big beautiful smile would melt anyone's heart.

My father Kenneth had left before Marley was even born without so much as a goodbye. He and I had been close before he left. I never could understand why he took off. It took years for my family to become somewhat normal afterwards but we got through it and became closer.

                         Chapter 2

I had a few close friends. Carson had become one of my best friends just this year. She was girly like me. She had blond hair and green eyes. She had dimples and braces. She was popular among the boys. One boy in particular, Dillon had his eyes on her and everyone knew it. They had been passing notes back and forth since school had started back. Their moms, who had been college roommates had run into each other at the mall that summer and reconnected, spending all summer together at picnics, birthday parties and spa days, leaving Carson and Dillon to hang out together nearly everyday.

Addison had been my best friend since kindergarten. She and I had hit it off immediately after a boy, Robbie had pushed her the swing and I had hauled off and punched him. We had been inseparable ever since. Addison came from a very rich family who owned many businesses all over Alexandria. She played the part very well. She wore the best clothes and had been all over the world on vacations. She had the biggest birthday parties and best sleepovers. 

Addison was gorgeous. She had shiny, brown hair that fell in layers down her back. Her big blue eyes sparkled, right along with her social butterfly personality and her whit.

Trent was my other best friend , even though he was a boy. We met in fourth grade when he moved from Georgia. On his first day of school he wasn't like most kids who were shy and stand offish. He came right up to me and said' Hi I am Trent and you are BEAUTIFUL!" I smiled and he laughed. We ended up being partners in science class and I learned that he had moved to Alexandria after his mom died of cancer and his dad had family here to help him take care of Trent and his little brother, Chaz who was only 3 at the time.

I had gone over to Trent's house over the years to do homework together or when my mom was going to be late getting home. She and Trent's dad had hit it off when we went to sixth grade. They even would hang out with all of us kids at each other's house every so often when they weren't so busy.

Trent had a boyish grin and sandy blond hair with green eyes. He had a few freckles that were barely visible unless you looked really closely. He had always been laid back and fun loving. He had a great sense of humor and was good at making you laugh. When he turned 13 over the summer his voice began to change. He grew five inches and I noticed.

When school started we met in front of the school as always. I hadn't seen him much because I was away at Bible Camp and he had flown to Georgia to visit his Aunt Lucy.

"Hey you" I said looking him over. He was dressed in a green polo shirt, new jeans and green Nikes.

"Hey yourself" he said smiling." you changed over the summer" he pointed out before I could say the same to him.

It was true. I had filled out. I had also started my period that summer. My mom and I had gone out to buy new bras because the old ones no longer fit.

I was dressed in a pink baby tee and apple bottom jeans with white rhinestones on the back. I had on pink Jordans that matched my t-shirt perfectly. My hair was down with a pink butterfly clip on one side. I had swiped on lip gloss, the only make up I was allowed to wear.

"So have you" I told him"You got much taller"

He grinned and I melted. Trent had definitely grown over the summer and was more handsome than ever.

"You ready for your first day of eighth grade and your last year at middle school? Cause I sure am" he voided with confidence.

"Most definitely. I am trying out for the squad this year" I told him.

Last year I had come down with the flu and missed tryouts. This year I would try out and I would be a cheerleader! I was determined

School was great. I liked all my teachers, even Mr. Samson , my math teacher. I hated math. I always passed but had to study hard and sometimes I had even had to do extra work to pass with a better grade than a C. 

Ms. Brantley was my favorite teacher, and it wasn't because English Lit was my favorite subject. All of her students liked her because we all knew she cared about us and our grades. She had been at Alexandria Middle for 3 years, right after she graduated college. It was Ms. Brantley who would help put the search team together, that eventually found me.

                      Chapter 3

It was early September, on a Saturday. My favorite season. I couldn't wait for Sunday's youth group. My best friend Carson was going to join and I couldn't contain my excitement. She and I were cheerleading together and for weeks I had been inviting her to no avail.

Finally that Friday she agreed to come.

I woke up and dressed quickly. Marley was always the first one up and I heard her in her room playing with her toys.

"Marley, do you want me to make you breakfast?" I asked her.

She readily nodded her head, slipped on her pink fuzzy slippers that matched mine and followed me into the kitchen.

My mom was already at work. She had been working two jobs to keep up with the mortgage and car payments.

After my father left, our minivan had given out and she had bought a more reliable SUV she was still making payments on. 

I made eggs and bacon. The smell must have woken Mason up because he came in rubbing his eyes. He picked up his DS and began playing it at the table.

"Mason you know mom doesn't allow video games at the table during meals" I said to him.

Mason made a face and put it down.

Just as we were finishing up my mom's best friend Chloe came over to watch Mason and Marley. I had practice and Michael was at his friend Todd's house. We had a game tonight. Matt would be there for the first time since school had started and we were all thrilled.

"Thank you Chloe, I really appreciate that you are here." I told her, grateful I wouldn't have to miss practice before the game.

She smiled. "You're welcome Marissa. How are you getting there?" she asked

"Carson's mom is picking me up" I glanced at my watch. "I have 15 minutes to finish getting ready"

I threw my things together in my gym bag and grabbed my cell phone off the night stand next to my bed. It would be the last time I would ever be in my room again, alive.

                               Chapter 3

Carson's mom had been late. So I called to let her know I would meet her at the park. It was only about a mile off of our street and I enjoyed the scenery. the vibrant autumn colors were gorgeous and I enjoyed the peacefulness of the walk. 

I was almost there when I noticed a grey sedan following closely. I pulled my hoodie on and glimpsed behind me but it was too late.

I will never forget his face or what he said to me. "I've been watching you"

Before I could scream I was in the vehicle. I was frozen with fear and began to pray. Thoughts raced through my mind. Where was he taking me? What did he want from me? I want to go home!

The ride seemed endless and he had tied me down where I could not see anything but the floorboard of the car. I tried to collect the details in my mind so that when this was all over I could tell the police. 

I was scared. He drug me into a secluded house in the backwoods somewhere in Alexandria, Virginia. 

All I remember was screaming, crying and fighting for my life. Why God? Why is this happening? 

When it ended, it was sudden. I saw a bright light and then I saw angels. Lots of them, welcoming me into heaven. 

"I don't want to be dead. I want to go back home" I exclaimed

A beautiful angel named Rosemary came close to me and smiled" you are home now, do not fear. God has planned your homecoming. There is a celebration"

Rosemary introduced me to several other angels and told me her story. She too had been murdered when she was thirteen, 35 years ago. " I was walking home from a friend's house. I knew him from our neighborhood and thought I could trust him." she explained "He was never found out and I asked God why. He said that even if he was not brought to justice on earth, he would be brought to justice on his judgement day"

I looked down upon my family. I would never again be down there on earth , not to cheerlead at the games, graduate with my friends, have a boyfriend or go to college to get married. I became angry. I wanted to do all those things. I wanted to date, I wanted to go to prom. I wanted to watch my little sister and brother grow up.

It wasn't fair. 

What I learned quickly though is that my story wasn't unique. There were so many of us who had been murdered and taken off earth way before God intended. Children, youths and even babies. I was shocked to see how many babies and small children had been brutally murdered, not by strangers but by their own family members. Their parents! Innocent lives stolen away. 

Heaven was all I had imagined and so much more. People on earth only have a very small idea of what is in store for them if they trust and obey, when they get to heaven.

I still my miss my family very much but I get to watch them and that makes it so much better.

                             Chapter 4

I watched as my mother sat on our sofa in our living room comforting Mason and Marley. They had searched for me all day without any results.

My mom had that feeling that parents get when they know something is terribly wrong. She knew. I could tell. 

I wanted so much to hold and comfort and tell her that I was no longer in pain, that I was in heaven and everything was okay.

The police were in and out. My mom had no blood relatives but we had a church family and they came by the dozens to bring food, comforting words, prayer and with the help of Ms. Brantley they formed search parties.

My brother Matt had come to see my brother Michael play football and watch me cheer, not this. He had finally gone into my room after searching all night and cried. I don't remember ever seeing him cry. Not even when my father left.

Yet here he was in my bedroom, the blinds closed, the door shut and he was sobbing.

They would find my body in a lake in the woods far off from where anyone lived. The dogs lost my scent when my body was thrown into the back of the man's pick up truck. It was picked back up in the edge of the woods to the lake.

When news came to my family my mother fell over, in agony. She sobbed into Michael's arms. He held her close and cried some more. With very little understanding what was going on, Marley curled up on Matt's lap as he too sobbed. Mason ran into his room to be alone, not fully understanding that I was dead and what death actually meant.

Reviews

[Keith]

This is a very powerful story. One that is both sad and angering while still have a ray of brightness revealed. It made me feel these things and for a writer to be able to do that with a reader is an excellent sign of good writing.

Here are a few thoughts I had:
Blair (My mom) snapped back to the present, the tears streaming down her face.
My father was long gone, had left my mother years ago (My father, Kenneth, had long ago left my mother.)
My father Kenneth had left before (Maybe put his name in the first sentence where he is mentioned. As in my sample above.)

You also may wish to add some sensory details. Taste, smell etc. It will help draw the reader in.

I hope this helps.

[Mystik]

I am always open to suggestions and critique. Thank you so much. It is very helpful and much appreciated :)

[Keith]

You're welcome :)