Sorry

I feel a little lost but found and need someone to understand me

I can not tell you how beautiful you are

I could but you would not believe me 

I can not tell you how sorry I am

I could but you won't understand why

I'm sorry you fell for me because I can't give you what I know you deserve

Your eyes reflect nothing but geniune happiness

But my eyes don't share the same reflection as yours

My eyes represent betrayal and trust issuses

You look at me with love with no hint of lust

I look at you with hope to heal my broken heart

I look to you as my savior from the darkness I have kept myself in

You look at me with hopes for a future

I look at you with hopes of not destroying you 

I look at you as if you're delicate and I do not want to get to close in case I break you

You say You care about me 

I say I feel the same 

But I go home and I text my ex's phone because I am not used to this type of affection

I'm not used to being cared about to the point were I wait for your text

I'm not a jealous person but god you make me jealous 

You make me jealous because I have you but I can't hold you 

I can't hold you the way she can because your eyes reflect hers

I am not her but you accept me 

I am not her and you still care about me 

I am not her and I wil never be her

But I feel the need to let you go because our eyes don't reflect the same truth

So I decide whether to allow myself this happiness of being with you 

or

let you go and watch you be happy knowing that I will never accomplish that goal 

Happiness

Author's Note

Sorry for the darkness...or confusion I just needed this