No Peace, No Comfort, No Home.

I am learning as a child would learn.

Soaking up pain and suffering, while seeking safety and comfort.

The attitude adjusted towards me and has altered my defense.

I no longer protect myself from cuts and bruises, but from hurtful words and cruel intent.

Friends become enemies, and family becomes unfamiliar unwelcome company.

This place is not my home.

Standing on the cliff, waiting to prove a point, to see my closest acquaintance push me over the edge.

Everything about one moment seems to bore me.

Like a child, I keep waiting for something or someone.

I desperately seek a savior. An answer.

I beg for inspiration and motivation.

I am stuck in between a rock and a hard place.

Searching like an infant child searches for protection.

The term family, that word is used loosely.

The word home and friends. What does it truly mean?

In a judgmental world, surrounded by judgmental people.

I wish I did not belong to any name or place.

Oh how I wish I did not have a name.

I would create my own name, title.

A lone woman standing at the bottom of the mountain,

With my equipment ready for a search.

I was not made for this world nor was I built to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Unstable and unfortunate.

I look to this world as a curse, while seeking spiritual guidance from man made words.

So consumed by the world and the world is consumed by disaster and destined for damnation.

I am tempted by everything unhealthy and disgusting yet I calm my soul to be kind and sweet.

This old heart of  mine, deserves to burn, for it is a over beaten organ. Useless.

I am not ready to live in the scorn of failure.

Steady pacing back and forth ready for the torture.

Ready to accept the true fact that, I am just this little tiny woman with no family, and no home.

No privacy, no respect.

No love in this dark tunnel to ad light on a dark pathway.