Girls Only

Hey everyone, it's me, Myrna!

Good morning, girls

This ain’t for men to read

So just go back to your beer

And basketball

Ain’t they all the same?

They only want one thing

And it ain’t always food

So I don’t want no men reading here

This is between us girls

Right now I’m busy hatin’ men

 

So anyway, girls

I called David on Valentine’s Day

Like somethin’ nice to do, y’know?

And this woman answered the phone

In his room and said her name was Amanda

Real snooty type usin’ big words and all

Like I ain’t got no education

But I know some big words, too

A person who can use both hands is amphibious

See there?

 

And she called him Dr. David

Hell, he ain’t no doctor

Ain’t even got no stethoscope thing

But he gives physicals, all right, believe you me

And he tried to tell me that

All doctors aren’t medical ones

Like I’m stupid or somethin’

He says he’s got one of them PhD things

Hell, that can’t be true

PhD . . . . you can’t even pronounce it

 

So anyway, girls, he’s with this woman

And they’re travelin’ ‘round to fancy hotels

Like he used to do with me

Fancy hotels with towels so thick

I could hardly close my suitcase

And I’m here at Lot 29 while Gladys works

And feelin’ kinda’ lonely, y’know?

But I’m eatin’ grits and hush puppies

And they ain’t got good things like that

In the fancy hotel restaurants, believe you me

Reviews

[LA Lorena]

Myrna honey, I hate to break it to you, but you should go an get yerself tested. A PhD is like one of those nasty-a*s venereal diseases you can git from dirty toilet seats at greyhound bus depots and bingo parlours. Go on now, you take care of you! Don't you be worrying about that two-timing low life "I'm not a Doctor, but I play one on TV" David. He'll get tired of her high falutin ways and be banging on that tin door at lot 29 in no time.

[Myrna]

You mean like one of them yeast things? Had that once. Never ate bread agin.

[Frieda P]

The b*****d! I'm on the same page with you girlfriend....who needs him and Ph'd anyways? You've got grits and hush puppies, what's he got, I heard Amanda can't cook in the kitchen or the bedroom, so his pipes will need cleaning when he gets back home, just make sure you make him beg for it. Hang in there honey pie, you deserve so much better but I get it, he's kind of cute, but a little weird to say the least. To each his own..!

[Myrna]

You are my only friend, Frieda. Look, ain't nobody else readin' nuthin' that I write and it took me hours to put out that one.