Bitten

I am bitten. Bitten by the intensification of the closure I'm bound to face; by the marbles of my own that he doesn't seem to share; by the reflexion of memories that were supposed to still have genuineness in some way, but don't. And I bleed the blackness in my veins just to get it out and constantly wonder what it'd be like if they were red. I use metaphors to highlight the facts but even the abstractions break my thoughts in half. The half that I once knew, and the circumstantial other half; which collide and smash my bones from whirling too much.
I believe in one thing to be completely true: the obvious is never authentic. But my beliefs seem to deteriorate when it comes to all he's shown. It's hard to get used to a new version of someone you used to love.. So hard that it makes you wonder if "love" or "loved". But it all comes down to not being able to figure out which feeling is right and which one isn't. Because no matter what you think or the amount of anger that lingers in you, you still admire the beauty in them you had once been fond of.
Somehow I want to believe that it can't be gone. That it's still in him somewhere masquerading; hiding sharply. All the ways, if there's anything gone, gone for good, it's the "me" that loved "him", and my burning desire to be his is shattered upon the many things he said and behaved already.
Sincerely yours,
But never again his.

Author's Note

I need your reviews please. Thank you.

Reviews

[Rohnium]

Extremely well written. I like how this short piece has a lot of different shades to it: disbelief, anger, despair but with underlying positivity and defiance. Fantastic use of vocabulary as well!

[Myriam]

Thank you for the lovely reviews!!

[Daydreamer]

OMG!!!!!! Truly tremendous write! Incredible use of vocabulary,verbs and supreme description!
love,love,love your write,Myriam♥

[Myriam]

Omg thanks a lot!^^

[Daydreamer]

Welcomeeee 7abebty♥♥♥♥♥

[CWP]

As I read this, I noticed some rhyming (probably coincidental) HOWEVER, if it's something you'd be willing to do, I imagine this could be a truly fantastic poem -- in which every form you'd prefer, honestly -- and you wouldn't have to expand.

That being said, kudos for this heartfelt piece -- as well as your use of metaphors and overall word choice. Except, when you used "reflexion" in the first sentence did you mean "reflection?" (I literally started at it for a minute trying to figure out why it seemed right and wrong hahah).
Either way, good job!(:

[Myriam]

Thank you for reading. I appreciate the suggestion, you're right. And yes I meant reflection..:)

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the short story. You could expand to a longer story. Sharing the when, where, why, who and how of this tale. I like the glimpses of a romance came and gone. I like the ending.
"Sincerely yours,
But never again his"
Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

[Myriam]

Thank you so much. I'll try my best to add enough details to my stories next time:)!