Follow the Leader

Followe the leader with a knife in hand

You were the leader

I was the soldier;

You said jump

And I would cater.

 

You gave an order

I complied,

You gave the command

I would always abide.

 

But now your time's up

And I'm the leader.

This game will be fun

Just call me Grim Reaper.

 

Your lies and malice

Are now my own.

The rules of the game

Will be carved on your headstone.

 

This reality shattered

As you swung your hammer and laughed.

And now in your direction

Blows this icy draft.

 

This is just act one,

I can't wait to begin.

This torrid game

Where I always win.

Reviews

[Krista]

Very well written and I enjoyed reading it. I enoyed the entire poem but I think the third stanza is my favorite honestly. Again very well done

[Zombeh]

o.O That was just an amazing piece! I especially loved the last stanza, I felt the menacing spirit arising, it was fun to read. Fantastic piece :)

[ashley]

damn. this is really good!

"This is just act one,
I can't wait to begin.
This torrid game
Where I always win."

fantastic. :D

[Mary]

this is awesome, very cool rhyming!!! It is very inventive great job, i loved it:) thanx for the review by the way!

[Kon™]

Great. Just great :D I loved this, it was really creative and amazing with the way you arranged your poem. Wonderful job. :)

[Glenna.]

OH MY GOD!
Loved it. That was amazing. I can't... jeez! What a way with words.
It was truly fantastic. :)

[dustyhowls]

This is great! I just have one suggestion to make, which is that for this line:
"Is this icy draft[,]" you say 'blows this icy draft' instead. This might be just me, but I think it would be better, and it's only one syllable as well, so it wouldn't mess up the rhythm.
Other than that though, like I said, this is great. It has imagery which is just waiting to come to life and good word choices and poignant emotions.