Apology

life is still pretty crazy right now, too crazy to really write. so here's this- me giving up on a friend

If a flower were to sprout
Out of your mouth
I wonder if it'd be a flower at all
Or would it be a faded shrubbery
Covered in thorns
all waiting to prick me.

And if pills were to fall
Out of your head
I wonder if you'd take them at all
Or would you give them to me
To swallow with a bitter drink
to make me
to make me more...

More like those memories
When I didn't give a s**t
About anything...
not anything
F**k the world, I'd say
just you and me
More like those hazy nights
Spent wasting away
What were we fighting for,
Anyway?
nothing
nothing at all

If I would've known
I wouldn't have said it like that
But I can't be blamed
no no
For your secrets.
Or do you resent me
for my newfound luck, and love
For becoming what you can't?

If I would've said
"Hey man, s**t's going down
and I'm changing.
I'm sorry if I fade for a while,
but s**t's crazy."
If I said that, oh all of it
Would you understand?
or do you
Or do you want me

More like those memories
When I didn't give a s**t
About anything...
not anything
F**k the world, I'd say
just you and me
More like those hazy nights
Spent wasting away
What were we fighting for,
Anyway?
Nothing
Nothing at all

Dude I've done nothing
But try to keep this going
Watering the plant so it might bloom
But somehow it withers
when I'm not looking
and it's kind of becoming too much.
Dude I've done nothing
But try to keep this going
Watering the plant so it might bloom
But somehow it withers
when I'm not looking



I'm sorry I can't live up to
Your expectations of what I once was
But you know people change
When life beats the hell out of them.
I'm sorry I care about life now
I'm sorry that I've found love
And I'm sorry so sorry I can't self-destruct

Author's Note

So my best friend keeps getting mad at me, while I'm just trying to patch things up and keep our friendship going. And it seems like just when I think we're good, I hear that she's saying stuff about me and that she thinks we're having a fight. o.O And it's honestly getting to the point where it's too much. I don't want to give up on her, cos she's the best friend I've ever had... but jeez. I'm beginning to wonder if it's worth it. u.u

Reviews

[Mark]

Although I hate to hear that you and your friend (I had at first assumed you were talking to a since-departed boyfriend!), I equally-much despair of a poet with as much potential as yourself depending on vulgarity to make her points. Please don't be offended, I simply feel that poetry is what happens after the highest rages and deepest pains have somewhat subsided, and the heart and mind have had a brief spell to sort it all out.
I especially love the images of flowers morphing into prickly shrubs--representing as beauty, but actually filled with pain and regret, and pills-become-poison, representing as healing medicines. BTW, is this a lyric? I noticed some repitition, which I took to be choruses or bridges.