Dear Bluebird

I saw a bluebird yesterday and got hopeful for spring

 

Oh, jolly, plump bluebird;

Do you bring with you the spring?

My bones ache for the comfort

That your song might give to me.

 

Please sing to mother nature

And tell her to calm down.

I’m weary from the cold here.

The time for birth is now.

 

Oh, jolly, plump bluebird,

Carry with you my dream;

And fly off to the Old Ones

So that the Sun may beam.

Author's Note

yep.
come on spring!

Reviews

[Donald Meikle]

We saw a humming bird today here in New England. for writer's block I recommend a poem without adjectives containing a jumbled list of words. you pick 'em

[Solst Rapture]

I really enjoyed this poem. It's very delicately put together (I'm struggling to articulate) and has a fragile, almost new life like quality to it, which fits the theme beautifully. The repetition of, 'Oh, jolly, plump bluebird,' in the first and last stanza is absolutely exquisite; I really, really do like that. That's the object of the narrators rhetorical muse and it creates a vivid image, without the need for the poem to actually establish the context of the imaginings. There's fabulous musicality to this piece, from the very beginning, 'My bones ache for the comfort/That your song might give to me.'

In the middle stanza I would recommend using commas instead of full stops, to keep the poem flowing. Also, it'd be better to not have capital letters where they're not needed, though those are really petty points to make - I just want to be thorough.

I notice the control you have demonstrated with the syllabic meter, which is commendable; it makes it feel much more composed.

So, yes, a great introduction to your work. I really liked it.

Sleep well.

[Ryan D. Mosley]

As a baseball player and enthusiast, I'm one of the biggest fans of Spring in the world, and I can definitely relate with this poem. Though I usually associate the feel of Spring returning with leather mitts and hard white balls being struck with metal bats, I love the symbolism in this poem with the bluebird and Spring.

Please sing to mother nature

And tell her to calm down.

I'm weary from the cold here.

The time for birth is now.


Great writing in this stanza relating the bluebirds singing to the season changing. Brilliant job here.

[Clockwork]

It is good that it is finally back. This piece has a classical feel to it I think. It is not bogged down by the snobbish materialistic generation we live in. This is purity and freedom. It was a pleasure reading.

[Gheeneil]

This sounds like a lively plea to me. One that insinuates excitement about what is coming. This is the same emotion a child feels when he's long been waiting for the rain to come. Each word and each line flow naturally smooth. A great write.

[Bud]

A wonderful ode to spring...Love it! Keep writing! Makes me anxious for spring to get here.