Canvas

I see myself as a canvas 

a canvas that I paint with different colors

a canvas that I transform into my special project

But...

There come those times where

I allow someone else to hold my brush

and splatter their own color over mine

splat, splat, splat,

paint trickles down and covers most of my work

It's a blow to my self worth

because to this person and to many others

I am nothing more than a canvas they can mark and overthrow

I'm another ego boost that they can show

just another canvas

that is the value I have

the value they have placed on me

so I try to repaint and get back what I have lost

But another person takes my brush

my oh so beloved friend

well, who I thought was my friend

splat, splat, splat,

I can barely see my own colors anymore

There's no strength in me to move, to scream, to fight back

while person after person smudges and paints on my canvas right before my eyes

There's blue where there should be red

and green where there should be brown

this is no longer my work

this is no longer me

My crush, my love, kisses my canvas with a brush covered in black paint

those kisses turn into small blows of pain

"I like you, but now I don't"

"I want you, but not all of you"

"you can have me, but under certain circumstances"

It doesn't end there

everyone gets to add to my canvas

gets to tell me my value

gets to tell me what I should do and be in order to increase it

after awhile, they all leave

And the canvas I see before me is starting to dry

and it dry's

and it dry's

while I cry

and I cry

And little by little inside I die

the ones I love and care about asked to take a color from the ones I have left

I give them all away

and after awhile those very same people

never come my way

50% has turned into 30%

30% has turned into 10

my self value has decreased 

what am I to do?

Beg for others to lend me colors and help me finish this piece 

that I have no choice but to claim as mine

fake a smile,

force a laugh,

be used when needed and tossed when not

the canvas I once created is hidden away

covered from top to bottom

to the point of no return

they damaged me

oh...how they damaged me.