Dear Life

Just a free verse poem.

It's sad for me to admit, but I've been

lost for so long

I don't know who I am

I'm afraid of becoming a toxic person to

the people I love and care about

I just get so stressed, so depressed, I want to shout

God, where are you?

Why am I here? Can't I just leave?

I pick at my looks, escape my life through books

fell for someone I will never have

I'm not sure where my life is going and

if I'm strong enough to stay on the ride

I feel so detached from myself,

as if I were a ghost already

 where I believe that I'm invisible to the world

and just some shattered girl silently

screaming inside and pleading for help

I pick up this pen to write out my frustrations, my fears, my desires

I give myself my own consolations

devastation- yes

That's the word I've been using all this time, to describe 

the hole I've been trapped inside of

And now as I look at things through a magnifying glass,

I can see clearly that some of the people

I put on a pedestal and gave up my throne for

were only there when it was convenient for them

were only there to boost up their ego's and say

"hey I'm here and I know you need me"

But do I really?

It's always been so one-sided 

so, give, give, give

And at the end of the day I'm left feeling

empty and Incomplete

God, I don't know why things are the way they are

I'm not sure why life is so difficult

and good things come to an end

There's so many questions, but no answers 

All I can do is hope, and hope

for things to unfold and to break out of this mold

So dear God

Or those of you who don't believe in God then

Dear Life,

give me the strength to pull through,

to pick up my bruised body and move forward

with my head held up high

please..

help me keep it held up high