I Remember When We Kissed; The Diary of Miley Ray Cyrus

A Story by De'JahVu<3

"WHOO-HOOOO!!!!!" An over exited Mandy Jiroux shouted behind me, jumping up and down vigorously. Her and the rest of the M&M Cru were bouncing behind the curtain, exited as they'd ever been. "I can't believe we won, Miles! I CAN'T BE-LIEVE IT!" Screams the deeply tanned brunette, jumping on the back of celebrity member, Channing Tatum. Channing whooped and hollered with the rest of the squad, completely oblivious to what I was hiding behind my distressed half-smile. "Yeah, totally!" I said with just a bit of believable enthusiasm, smiling at the pair. We'd WON. We were victorious! The M&M Cru beat ACDC at the Teen Choice awards fair and square, to the opinion of a crowd of ten thousand people. In the morning, someone out there would be posting a petition on Youtube saying that the contest was rigged, which anyone of proper intelligence would know that it wasnt. (You like those big words, dontcha'?) Even though we were winners, I couldn't help but feeling like a loser.

"Hey, Mandy!?" I shouted over the noise, slightly backing away. "I'm gonna head on to the dressing room. I'm...just a little sleepy." Mandy nodded politely, respecting my wishes. Mandy was the perfect best friend. There was the kiddie, fun side of her, which showed quite often, but there was also the mature, caring side of her. Even though she WAS five years older than me, a twenty year old, she was the only person that could read my mind; and that's pretty f*****g cool. Turning on my heels, I started down the blank hallway, snatching the fancy elastic out of my side ponytail. My hair pumbled to my shoulders, just as tired and volume-less as I was. Sighing, I hung my head, staring down at my purple and gold Nike's.

It'd been a hard night for me. Tonight had been the first time I'd made contact with him, even if it was just announcing the name of his band. These feelings had been with me for the past few months. Hurt. Sorrow. Depression. The rumors bruised the most. They weren't true, of course, but it hurts to know that people really thought about me in that way. W***e. S**t. Jealous ex-girlfiend. Was it that obvious that I still wasn't over Nick that people chose to believe I was jealous because HE was dating Selena Gomez? And on top of that, that I chose to make a Youtube video making fun of her and Demi Lovato to 'ease my pain'? Selena was my friend, maybe not a 'BFF', but a friend nonetheless. I would never do that! I know I messed up, with the whole 'picture scandal', but that's noones business but my own. I can ony imagine what my life would be like if everyone knew the truth. I'm tired of everyone listening to everyone else's stories instead of HERstory.

MY story.
Miley's story.

The sound of close footsteps snapped me from my gaze as I let out a quiet gasp at who was before me. "Hey...uh...congratulations." Nick says, stepping closer toward me. He'd changed out of his blazer and expensive white tee, into a tight white V-neck, something obviously bought from American Apparel. I tried not to blush at his newest cut, a slight transition from the sloppy curls that would constantly slap up against his forehead. The brunette boy's aviator shades sat comfortably on top of it's nest, my own reflection staring back at me. Even though we hadn't talked in months, Nick's voice and overall personality were exactly the same. I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him I missed him. "You guys were really, really good." The side of his mouth curled up into a tight smile. "Oh, and great hosting, too." Even though I'd known him for two and a half years, he still came off as shy and unsure.

"Thanks. Congrats to you, too! Hottie Of The Year is like, the top prize." I responded, giving him a nervous smile. I'd been rehearsing this moment in my dreams for the past six months, but I still couldn't find the right words. Nick held out his toned arms, wrapping them around me in a quick hug. Those were the kinds he gave random fans at meet & greets. The ones that meant nothing. A shiver went down my spine as I realized...this was what our relationship was subjected to. It amazing that a kind, loving gesture could hurt with so much intensity. "Nice flying, though." I giggled pulling away from the hug, trying to sound the least bit upset. He chuckled back, making my heart flutter. "So, I guess you guys are staying at the Movake?" I nodded, the tiniest bit of hope inside of me. Was Nick asking me...out? "Maybe-"

"NICK!" Shouted a giggling voice from down the hall. Selena's head of curly black hair poked out of Kevin's dressing room. "Hurry up! We're gonna be late for the-!" She paused, seeing me there for the first time. I offered a smile, waving. "Miles! I was just looking for you! We're all going to Dave and Busters, do you wanna?-"

"I can't." I answered so quickly our sentences colided. "I have this thing...with my brother." Of course noone invited me to come, OR was looking for me, but Selena, the sweetheart she was, invited me anyway to be polite. I never was the one to barge into anyone else's plans, so I lied. Not to be polite, but not to be a b***h.

"So...I'll see ya round?" Nick offered, slightly shrugging. I nodded as Nick pulled me in for another of those, 'buy our new album!' squeezes. He backed away slightly, almost tripping over one of his own feet. "It was really cool to see you, Miley." I gave a sweet wave, my heart bruised from his words. "You too, Nick." I responded, fighting back the tears behind my eyes. Jogging back to the group inside the room, he muttered a small, "Bye."
And that's when the tears fell.

I hated being so helpless, but Nick was a really important part of my life. I'd dated a few boys, nothing too slow or fast paced for a fifteen year old, but still. He was my best friend. Someone I could talk to. Nicholas Jonas had basically made me the person I was today, and he just let it GO? Just like that? I fell uponthe floor, the scarlet colored loveseat placed in the hall breaking my fall. My breaths contracted into sobbing, my mascara running down my face. Burying my face into the couch pillow, I took a deep breath, trying to silence my tears. I couldn't. "I miss him." I muffled to whoever, or whatever, was listening. "SO much!" Crying hysterically, I held my knees to my chest, not able to control myself.

"I'm SORRY, okay?!!?" I cried out, running a quick hand through my sweaty, chocolate brown tresses. "P-please. MAKE this STOP!! I-I love him. I love Nicholas SO much! Don't take this from me!" Rage filling my body, I turned to the blank white wall (that seemed to be mocking me), punching the s**t out of it with all of my heart and soul. The dent was fairly visible, maybe something that couldn't be repaired.

"F**k."

I took the deepest breath, violently wiping my mascara-stained cheeks with the back of my hand. Everything was so still, so quiet; I could almost hear my teardrops hitting the floor. I didn't feel sorry for destroying that wall, either. Nick had done the same thing to my heart.

Statistically, I was on top.
But in reality, I'd hit rock bottom.
MY alpha status.
MY fans.
MY life.
MY friends.
MY privacy.
MY chance to be...JUST a teenager.
I'd lost everything.
But most importantly, my self pride.
And Nicholas Jerry Jonas.

"...miley."A sympathetic voice at the end of the hallway muttered.
In all of his glory, with his sexy, overprocessed black hair mashed up against his forehead, his tight, skinny jeans, (OBVIOUSLY bought from Urban Outfitters), his tailor made blazer, and caring brown eyes.
It was Joe.
And he'd seen everything.