Poor Little Blind Girl.

Wrote this years ago, but I'm still quite fond of it, and it's one of the more popular things that i've written among my friends. Enjoy! ~ ♪ ♫

Poor little blind girl,
Too blind for her to see,

How badly you were hurting her,

And how her life should be.

She misses you so much,
You broke her heart in two,
You're killing her inside,
And now what should she do?

Author's Note

As stated above, this was written ages ago, and was also just a random thing I came up with one time when i was really low, so please do forgive it if you find it to be terribly wrong or bad. Apart from that, i'd be happy to receive criticism, because, although i do not normally write poetry, i'm still interested in what you think.

Reviews

[Cody Wiggins]

I enjoy it but wish that there was more. Most of my poems are kinda long that maybe the wrong answer but I like a poem to tell a story and this one just ended to shortly to me. I still enjoy it. You feel pain as you read it and it reminds of you of someone you may have hurt in the past. Over all really well thought out and written but would like to see more

[My-two-lives]

Thank you for your kind words.
A lot of people have been saying that it needs to be longer, but because i wrote this so many years ago, if i changed it now i'm not sure if i would be able to give it justice since the emotions just aren't with me anymore.
Thank you very much again for your kind words and for the suggestions, i'll keep them in mind. :)

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

Love the flow of the poem. It goes really well. Nicely penned. :-)

Kaze~ :-D

[My-two-lives]

Thank you so much :'D ^-^

[♔ CrownedDevil ☾]

Your very welcome. :-)

[SonOfPlunder]

Nice flow to this but i could imagine it being longer, more verses with a more in depth insight into the pain and misery of this girl. Don't get me wrong, i did like it though, solid piece

[My-two-lives]

Thank you, and I'm glad that you liked it. Due to creating this so long ago, I'm somewhat reluctant to try changing or add things, since the same emotions are no longer there; I could try to remember the emotions again, but whether the poem would be consistent or not I'm not sure.... I shall attempt at developing the poem some more, and I might upload the results if they're decent. Thank you again for the advice, it was very helpful.

[SonOfPlunder]

Oh as i said, don't get me wrong, i wouldn't change the original work at all, just mainly add to it, expand it and make it more detailed. Sometimes though trying to conjure up old emotions and feelings just doesn't work, you have to act on them whilst they are fresh and raw. Maybe you could write another poem that could be an unofficial continuation of this one instead? Using more recent emotions, so they are more powerful. and create something just as solid to accompany it. You are welcome though, i enjoyed reading it

[My-two-lives]

Alright, i shall give it a try. Your advice is a great help, since I really want to become a better writer! And, I'm glad that you enjoyed reading it!
But, yes, i shall try to see if i can create another poem which could... I'm not sure.. follow up from this one i suppose. - Possibly be a follow up in a series? I'm not sure, (I've been asked to write more poetry of this kind.) but i shall certainly give it a try. :)

[SonOfPlunder]

You should, this could definitely turn into something, you could make a sort of a series out of it if the ideas start flowing, or some kind of anthology. I look forward to seeing more of your work!

[Kasey Miriam]

this is a very well done short poem. It has a good rhythm

[My-two-lives]

Thank you.

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

A nice little poem. Maybe you should write more romantic poems.

[My-two-lives]

Thank you, I'm glad you like it. - And, maybe I will. I generally struggle with poetry, but, I might give it another go in the future.