LIFE's RING

Step into the Ring...what's YOUR approach?

When you stepped into his ring,

At a tender young age.

He babied you abit,

Like a newly crowned king,

Trained you up well,

To cover all your bases.

Defend yourself from,

Your peers’ overwhelming graces.

 

He taught you

To bounce back,

When you were punched

onto the ropes.

How to parry your way

Through it

How to rebuild on

your hopes.

 

Then you got seedy,

thought you owned Life’s Ring.

Knocked out several of His students

With your surfeit greed. 

You challenged your Master,

With a wager to secede.

He looked down for a moment,

Before he sighed ‘indeed’.

 

Life was fast

and robust,

He ducked your rights,

With deadly speed.

Dodged your lefts

with precise ease

And delivered his own

accurately.

 

Sweat dripping down your brow,

You can barely stand up.

Cuts countless on your face,

Tasting blood in your mouth.

Yet here Life comes again

His gloves poised in bout,

Your vision goes black as

You’re viciously knocked out!

 

Author's Note

I think i underdeveloped what this piece could have been. Your additions/subtractions/thoughts/distastes are highly welcome:)

Reviews

[Judy Ponceby]

Fascinating metaphor for life. Overall I feel this is very well done. I think you could have expanded a bit more on the theme. Most of this flows beautifully, nice rhythm. This stanza I stumbled a bit through,


He taught you
To bounce back,
When you were punched
onto the ropes.
How to parry your way
Through it
How to rebuild on
your hopes.

I like the images, but I think given the quality of the other stanzas perhaps this deserves a little editing.

I am enjoying your work, keep it up :)

[jay-lyse]

I love the meaning behind this piece. Life is so uncontrollable. The moment you think you have everything planned out is the moment everything starts to go completely backwards. It feels like your taking one step forward just to fall three steps back. Even though I think this is an awesome piece I kinda also think it could've been a little bit better. Maybe by adding a twist to it, making it a little more longer and adding more visual content ... But anyway awesome piece interesting topic. =)

[Nastia]

never feel like u re above life, never assume u will never get hurt, u dont control life, u need to respect it, roll with its punches and learn to make due with what it has given u. this piece is beautiful, and yes life tends to knock us down right when we assume we are on top and nothing can bring us down, but we need to learn to get up and keep fighting!!!

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[Awkward]

Oh the way life knocks us around sometime!
Great piece!

[hopelove]

i love love it

[Bryan Micheni]

:) i like... It can be interpreted in a religious form as well...

[YouoweYoupay]

Haha! Amazing image fit, espcially the nickname of the wrestle, I ejoyed this theme, with all the speed, arrogance, and bruises. Keep it up!

[qaralynn]

nice!!

[White Ink]

Very creative n clever style of writing. Congratulations for winning 2nd in "Life has taught me" contest! love it!