Fascinating metaphor for life. Overall I feel this is very well done. I think you could have expanded a bit more on the theme. Most of this flows beautifully, nice rhythm. This stanza I stumbled a bit through,
He taught you
To bounce back,
When you were punched
onto the ropes.
How to parry your way
Through it
How to rebuild on
your hopes.
I like the images, but I think given the quality of the other stanzas perhaps this deserves a little editing.
Fascinating metaphor for life. Overall I feel this is very well done. I think you could have expanded a bit more on the theme. Most of this flows beautifully, nice rhythm. This stanza I stumbled a bit through,
He taught you
To bounce back,
When you were punched
onto the ropes.
How to parry your way
Through it
How to rebuild on
your hopes.
I like the images, but I think given the quality of the other stanzas perhaps this deserves a little editing.
I love the meaning behind this piece. Life is so uncontrollable. The moment you think you have everything planned out is the moment everything starts to go completely backwards. It feels like your taking one step forward just to fall three steps back. Even though I think this is an awesome piece I kinda also think it could've been a little bit better. Maybe by adding a twist to it, making it a little more longer and adding more visual content ... But anyway awesome piece interesting topic. =)
never feel like u re above life, never assume u will never get hurt, u dont control life, u need to respect it, roll with its punches and learn to make due with what it has given u. this piece is beautiful, and yes life tends to knock us down right when we assume we are on top and nothing can bring us down, but we need to learn to get up and keep fighting!!!
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