DAREDEVIL’s FINALE

Find and tightly grasp your desires while you still have time.

From chains underwater to gravity on the surface,

He defied all the odds with great ease and deft pace.

With a knee-shaking smile and a fan base to envy,

The Daredevil had it all lest one thing he couldn’t ferry.

 

She’d chased him for years,

Before she was done trying.

He felt it in his heart, that her love had wrong timing.

He’d not conquered the world yet,

Brought it down onto its knees.

Circumnavigate the globe, sail across the seven seas.

 

His rejection of her love had aged to unbridled regret.

Which thawed at his gut interminably,

Guilting sentimental debt.

 

He’d jumped from planes, dived through fire,

Drove into pits packed with barbed wire.

But this last trick required a skill,

The type he didn’t innately possess.

Stealing hearts was one a deed;

One needing acute prowess.

 

He planned it well to the last detail,

Meticulous and cunning was his nature.

He was born to win, and never to fail

He was a pirate and the lass his treasure!

 

His helmet on,

parachute strapped,

He looked warily at the sky below him.

Caution and adeptness

alone’d

necessitate survival of t’prevailing peril.

Goggles on, smirking wildly

He approaches the edge

of the airplane cabin.

Then away he dives, concentration-marred

Seeking his final invaluable trophy.

 

-M.Babu- 

Author's Note

I’m really loving this loose method of poetry storytelling. I think I’ve put a message in here for you…I hope it’s understandable? As usual give me your honest thoughts on the piece. Too Long? Nice Flow? Bad Wording? Loose structure? Please don’t be shy…the review is yours to manipulate.

Reviews

[Maureen Mwaniki]

Ati please dont be shy!your inviting alot!!:-P
seriously now...
It has a natural flow to it,like am reading a story but am certain its a poem and am s'posd to draw moral from the story but i know its just a poem whose meaning is simple yet with alot of depth!see,even if it was longer it wouldnt have occured to me,it has a way of holding you captive and it plays out like a film in my head so nicely!i dont think there's anythng i dont like about it so no critique form me!:)

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

I enjoyed this tale ; )

[FaithfullyJennyBear]

this is really good, i love how it is presented and the structure is really well thought about. you have a very god choice in words :) x

[Quinn Blackburn]

Thought I should come back and say that I most definetly got the message that he was finally meeting his biggest challenge, taking the plunge and gambling on love. These lines "He was a pirate and the lass his treasure!" and "Seeking his final invaluable trophy." eliminated any doubt for me. I felt that the long standing viewpoint he had that throwing himself into the next dangerous stunt was easier and felt safer is a common one for everyday people. That aspect really made this piece real for me. Sorry if that didn't come through before.

[Rossen]

not sure about the message, but this line is one in a million...
His rejection of her love had aged to unbridled regret

wonderful way to say love wishes turn

[Tate Morgan]

Im all fr this idea and men who prevailed at i

[Sherbs Dreaming Tree Of..]

Beautiful work sir!
Loving the flowing structure of the poem with that ever so light touch of story-telling

[YouoweYoupay]

I also love this method of neither poem neither story, something in between. While this story started interesting, the ending was a bit uh... :( . Maybe I assumed way ahead of this. Maybe you mentioned it was his 'last invaluable trophy' meaning he'll land quietly and nicely and go back to accept the confession of his love. i dunno! aagh jus hoping! lol. Nice work though. Keep it up.

[Thea Fuentebella]

loved the flow and the rhyming scheme. a different tale, this is.
a daredevil's point-of-view. wow..i never thought of that. your story made me smile because it was so goo and easy to read. you have great imagination. keep it up!
thanks for sharing!
100/100

[Quinn Blackburn]

Excellent pacing, great storytelling. Easier to jump out of a plane than put in the work of nurturing love, especially a love long unrequited. Take the plunge! :o) One minor editing thought. In this line "Stealing hearts was one a deed; One needing acute prowess." "one a deed" doesn't read right, especially with "One needing" following right after. Feels like a stumble in the otherwise flowing narrative.