my daily routine… is there something wrong?

(original upload found here: http://truml.com/profile/poetry-detail/97715 )

As I watch the sun set and watch it rise 
i hear the sound of my alarm clock 
can i survive the world today? 
sleepless nights, eyes burning 
maybe i will sleep tonight, must keep going 
as i lay curled on the shower floor 
i silently cry to myself 
so tired, yet so awake 
out to my guym, the barrier between 
the chaos of the dark passenger 
as the monster dwelling within 
tries to control my actions 
through my day, i’m surrounded yet alone 
missunderstood, riddiculed, and mocked 
i wonder why they are happy 
as i move from class to class 
i pull my long sleeves down to hide the scars 
no one must know i’m vunerable 
until the lonely trip home 
once i am home, i train my pain away 
attempting to tire myself out 
and i complete my homework 
hoping that i can be loved 
i lay myself by the shower now 
knife in hand, maybe tonights the end 
and as the warm blood flows freely 
the white floor pools with my blood 
finally a pain i can understand 
and as the blood clots, i shower clean 
i stay up late into the night 
trying to stitch up my wounds 
i lay myself down to rest late tonight 
as a warm fat tear rolls down my cheek 
i watch the clock spin 
this is my daily cycle…

Author's Note

not recently written was written at about the 05/01/2012