Desires Collide

I see a friend in need;
I wish I could help him indeed;
But we are no longer children;

I see the scars and the pain;
I could free him from the chains;
But he twists and resists alone;

This frightens even my cold heart;
Knowing like me, one day, he'll depart;
But this fear of loss chills my bones;

Above all this I wish a long life to him;
Yet knowing truly I hope to sing a hymn;
From six feet under before I sing for him;

Reviews

[TL Boehm]

deep sadness in this. When we lose that ability to reach out - because we've grown up and apart.

[Alex Vidmar]

The most chilling verse, Jock, was the final verse. In fact, the whole thing was spine-chilling! Love this! Keep the works coming!

TLWA

p.s. Keep on the lookout for a new story coming soon!

[Jock Engelman]

Shall do TLWA as I enjoy reading your work and your reviews. Also on the final verse I wanted to leave to audience with a chill and them knowing how dire the message is

[Mockingbird]

conveys despair from a person who can't help their friend. sometimes they just push away the ones who care about them most and we can't do anything about it. great job.

[Jock Engelman]

Thank you mockingbird. I always appreciate your reviews

[SlightlyOdd]

This expresses a lot in a compact form. It seems deep and dark to me. This is a good poem, structurally I believe it could be broken up a little for aesthetics but purely content, I wouldn't change anything.

[Jock Engelman]

Thank you for your feedback. So as you said it could be broken up a little for aesthetics. Could you provide an escape?

[SlightlyOdd]

Specifically between stanzas three and four and stanzas nine and ten

[Jock Engelman]

I have edited the piece is this what you had in mind?

[SlightlyOdd]

yes. it is exactly what I had in mind.