Spring Festival-Part 1

Florence’s spring festival would begin soon.  Festivals and celebrations were common in this region.  The people here always held good mirth and liked to celebrate the blessings of life.  A few generations ago, after a particularly harsh winter, the people of Florence felt the first warm breeze of spring.  Upon this welcome respite from the cold they declared a holiday to celebrate the coming warmth.  Thus the spring festival was created.  Of course the festival grew in popularity since it involved much drinking, merriment, and dancing to warm the hearts and souls of all participants.

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Warm rays of sunlight penetrated a thin layer of white clouds displaying the long hidden blue sky.  A faint aroma of sweet breads and honey beer wafted up the fields of wheat from the city.  Carlie caught wisps of music in the air as travelers sang traditional songs on their way to Florence.  This region of Thellonia received few visitors.  Not on this day, the first day of spring. 

Carlie had spent the early morning searching for the perfect flowers to adorn her head.  Beaming like a child, she climbed the hill with a basket full of violet and ruby colored flowers.  Both colors favored her chestnut hair and fair complexion.  Atop the hill sat a medium sized cottage with a newly thatched roof and white walls welcomed her home.  Inside the cottage were rooms for Carlie, her parents, her brother, a kitchen, and an all purpose room with a large fireplace.  Carlie sat in a chair next to the fireplace and placed her basket on the floor next to her.  A matter of minutes passed as Carlie deftly tied the flowers into a ring.  Years of practice making similar crowns hastened her progress. 

A faint snoring from a nearby room drew Carlies’ attention away from her task at hand.  Shaking her head and rising from her seat Carlie wondered how her brother Roland could be asleep on a day like today.  ‘I really should let him sleep through this festival.  That would teach not to sleep so much’ Carlie thought to herself.  Then she remembered that it was her brothers’ boisterous and overly friendly nature that made her time at the festival enjoyable.  Carlie did not drink much, nor did she fancy any suitors in town.  The festival did not offer much more once those options were taken away.  Sighing, she left her warmth by the fire and stomped to her brothers’ room.  Opening the partially opened door a tall lanky figure sprawled across the bed wrapped tightly in a blanket stained from God knows what.  This all too common scene reminded Carlie that yes, indeed this boy could sleep through anything. 

“Get UP! The festival will start without us if you don’t get your off your back and onto the road!” Carlie admonished in a voice reserved for emergencies and waking the dead.

“Five more minutes…” Roland muttered through his pillow.  “I’ll be ready when your crown is done.” he added as if he had been awake and waiting on Carlie.

“Fine, but if you’re not out the door in time I’ll leave without you” Carlie responded while glowering at the pathetic scene before her.  A few seconds passed and soft snores answered her threat.  Carlie tsked as she exited the room.

Five minutes later Carlie stood at front door wearing her midnight blue festival dress and the crown of flowers.  “I’m leaving now!” Carlie called out towards her brothers’ room.

Outside a voice responded “good to know, I was about to leave without you.” As always her brother hadn’t let her down.  He was dressed in brown leather pants, a white shirt, his prized emerald colored leather vest, and a brown cloak. The outfit looked good and provided some protection when a fight broke out, Roland’s’ version of a perfect festival outfit.

Reviews

[Alyss Erulisse]

Separating the first paragraph was a good idea. There are still a few problems with missing commas and misplaced apostrophes. For example, there should be a comma after "Of course" in the first paragraph. Also, "Not this day, the first day of spring" is a fragment. I would recommend the following arrangement: "This region of Thellonia usually received few visitors. However, this day was not like the others. This day was the first day of spring."