Back to My Prison of Fear

Just one of my rants. Not a poem really

I can't be perfect all the time.

In fact, I can't be perfect at all.

Yet, you always expect me to be that perfect little angel you wish I was.

Just because I'm not saying anything,

Doesn't mean I'm thinking up a lie.

I'm quiet because I know just how mad you get when just the right words aren't said.

I'm not the daughter you think I should be.

I make mistakes, but they will only help me learn.

I may not always tell the truth,

But that doesn't make me bad.

I may be 18, but I'm not an adult,

But I am definitely no child either. 
I'm more than capable of knowing right from wrong,

But I won't always choose what's right in your eyes.

Instead, I will choose what I believe is best for me, not for you,

and I will deal with the consequences myself.

I'm sick of living in fear of your disappointment,

But I know I may never leave your grasp.

I can try to live my own life,

But you will always find a way to pull be back in.

Back to my prison of fear.

The fear of your disappointment.

Your disapproval.

Your knowledge and your anger.

The fear of you.

Nothing I do is ever just right.

Always, something is wrong, 

Out of place, or askew.

You criticize without any disguise.

Your anger flows all too freely.

When I will finally find the courage to escape your clutch, I may never know.

I just pray it is soon.

For, my patience is soon running thin.

You're controlling and manipulative,

And you cease to listen if things aren't going your way.

You make assumptions without explanation.

Then let what you assume become fact,

Never pausing to check your answers.

Nothing is ever alright with you

Unless it was thought up by you.

Reviews

[Jack Isaac]

Hey, you stole my words to my mom! :) And even at my age, I say to her: "I'm sick of living in fear of your disappointment." --oh well, disappointment never killed anyone! Poor mom will just have to lump it. But I do love my mom and still want her to be proud of me, so to this day I've never told her I write poetry. Ha Ha! Aside from that, I really like this poem ---Well done!

[Jaco (Jaik Miller)]

we all feel this way at times. people hold each other to impossible standards

[*~* ReAdInG Mu5iC *~*]

I thunk this may be my favorite one so far. :) really good!

[J. J. Nightingale]

A young rant .. Some do seem to choose all the wrong paths .. .. .. The result, so many angry adults with low self esteem .... I hear you ! .. A parents job is to instill a good self image, with encouragement and praise when due .. And Love !


Jazz.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

A Powerful read...you have conveyed a very honest write... Great job!

[Kenneth The Poet]

Wow, powerful stuff.

[Me]

A wonderful write

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

"Nothing is ever alright with you
Unless it was thought up by you"

what an poignant ending, really expresses what many kids feel, birilliant piece :)

[Dayran]

Sounds like you're talking about your child not your father. Nice!

[EMF]

Hell's teeth. Even at 48 I still think this. You have written what you call a rant, but I would call exceptional work. Not only do you open up your mind, but your soul as well. A wonderful read that will jar a chord with almost everyone, and leave a parent or two thinking about their own kids. Exceptional work, with great flow and a wonderful idea

[Coyote Poetry]

Hard to be a father and to be a daughter. I have three daughters and I try to be quiet and listen. Life isn't easy for no-one. Most of will learn by trial and error. We learn in time. Patience and love is needed. Best to be kind and not negative. Love is hard and good times. Your poem open the door to struggle. Hard to be a father watching their babies grow up and learn what the world really is. Last lines are a battleground. Love forgive all things. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote