Back to My Prison of Fear

Just one of my rants. Not a poem really

I can't be perfect all the time.

In fact, I can't be perfect at all.

Yet, you always expect me to be that perfect little angel you wish I was.

Just because I'm not saying anything,

Doesn't mean I'm thinking up a lie.

I'm quiet because I know just how mad you get when just the right words aren't said.

I'm not the daughter you think I should be.

I make mistakes, but they will only help me learn.

I may not always tell the truth,

But that doesn't make me bad.

I may be 18, but I'm not an adult,

But I am definitely no child either. 
I'm more than capable of knowing right from wrong,

But I won't always choose what's right in your eyes.

Instead, I will choose what I believe is best for me, not for you,

and I will deal with the consequences myself.

I'm sick of living in fear of your disappointment,

But I know I may never leave your grasp.

I can try to live my own life,

But you will always find a way to pull be back in.

Back to my prison of fear.

The fear of your disappointment.

Your disapproval.

Your knowledge and your anger.

The fear of you.

Nothing I do is ever just right.

Always, something is wrong, 

Out of place, or askew.

You criticize without any disguise.

Your anger flows all too freely.

When I will finally find the courage to escape your clutch, I may never know.

I just pray it is soon.

For, my patience is soon running thin.

You're controlling and manipulative,

And you cease to listen if things aren't going your way.

You make assumptions without explanation.

Then let what you assume become fact,

Never pausing to check your answers.

Nothing is ever alright with you

Unless it was thought up by you.

Reviews

[Jack Isaac]

Hey, you stole my words to my mom! :) And even at my age, I say to her: "I'm sick of living in fear of your disappointment." --oh well, disappointment never killed anyone! Poor mom will just have to lump it. But I do love my mom and still want her to be proud of me, so to this day I've never told her I write poetry. Ha Ha! Aside from that, I really like this poem ---Well done!

[patricia]

Wow! a mature write that manages to be assertive without agression, I could relate a lot to this, especially about angry people become if I am too quiet around them. It seems to make them feel insecure. Thanks.

[?]

This is a very understandable rant. I believe every teenager feels like this. I have been there many many moons ago. Then I became that parent. For me it was a lesson I had to learn as a parent too. Parents mostly want the best for their kids, sometimes we do go about things the wrong way, so it is a learning process for both. As humans we are constantly learning what to do or say and what not to do or say. Moms usually want better for their kids than what they had.
Very well written and expressed.

[Boldpen]

Very nice poem.
It was a very beautiful write with good usage of words and expressions.
Sometimes, Parents do become over possessive and cage us in our life. Although, they do it with our good in their minds, they burden us with their dreams and assumptions.
They want to be there to protect us from every danger, so they ground us from seeing world.
It sometimes happens.
Very fine work!!

[Alewis]

this true for every child...even i go through this its ashame how they want us to be what they werent..great write :)

[Bridget Murphy]

How come every mom is like that? Those words should be said to my mom!!
I really like this poem!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)

[SwagMaster]

Woohoo!!!! Parents all the way! I just hate when the ONE TIME they do check their answers, they're right. Phooey.

[Inyourshadow]

Sometimes parents can seem to be manipulitive but sometimes it is only to push you, others times I guess they just like the power trip. Just don't let yourself be rushed into leaving before you are ready, it's a big world and not always a nice one, cliche I know but the truth. Just be sure when you make the transistion it's on your terms. Good luck, chin up and keep em' coming

[shardsofFrance]

This is exactly like my Mom...she has no idea how controlling she can be...you took the words out of my mind and wrote them down

[Rene Velez]

venting is cool and this is actually a window of feelings most young people feel trying to find themselves, growing up and facing the ungodly facts of life...I think it's really good.

[no one]

good writing