Be Still, My Aching Heart

Lost love

Be still my aching heart,

For, we must live with her and I apart.

Be still my wandering mind,

There’s no point, she won’t ever be mine.

 

She came into my life and filled it with light,

And as quick as she came, she was gone, out of sight.

I wonder if she even knew that I could have been hers

Every time she came near, oh how butterflies started to stir.

 

Be still my aching heart,

For, we must live with her and I apart.

Be still my wandering mind,

There’s no point, she won’t ever be mine.

 

Her lips, so seductively red, made me melt

I wish, just once, I could have known how she felt.

Her beautiful eyes pierced right through my heart.

She made me feel pretty, but now I’m just torn apart.

 

Be still my aching heart,

For, we must live with her and I apart.

Be still my wandering mind,

There’s no point, she won’t ever be mine.

 

So please, just be still for me now...

Author's Note

Not my best work, but don't be shy about leaving me some reviews!

Reviews

[A. Amos]

Be still my aching heart,
For, we must live with her and I apart.
Be still my wandering mind,
There’s no point, she won’t ever be mine.
 
So please, just be still for me now...


Romance at his best your words flawless over all simply brilliance...

[stars are far]

That was soooo great.. I reallt really loved it...
So awesome.. Keep it up :))

[MusicLove93]

Thank you(:

[Tegon Maus]

Hi 93... this was great. I wish I could express how this made me feel. The only words that came to me were the ones said to me.... "for all the years we will be apart, I love you."

[MusicLove93]

Thank you(: I'm glad my writing can instill such feelings in others!

[natzky]

wow....excellent piece...
unrequited love is very evident in the poem....thank you so much for sharing..I really enjoyed it..:)

[MusicLove93]

Thank you(: And you are quite welcome(:

[barricade]

Beautifully sad. I love it. Can deeply relate.

[MusicLove93]

Thank you(:

[Manpreet]

Beautiful poem, amazingly penned! Great write!!!

[MusicLove93]

Thank you(:

[Adam Faison]

Great poem! Love the repetition!

[MusicLove93]

Thank you(:

[afra]

wow so beautiful and deep ...well done

[MusicLove93]

Thank you(:

[That1Nerd23]

I love this! It's so beautiful! (: Excellent job!

[MusicLove93]

Thank you(:

[That1Nerd23]

You are welcome! (:

[♪The Girl Next Do..]

An honest, pure, heartfelt poem. Beautifully written. Excellent work

[MusicLove93]

Thank you(:

[Melobldnfr]

Good to hear from you! I think this is a solid piece. I am particularly fond of the flow of the 4th stanza (or 2nd verse, as it does feel like a song). ;-) Additionally, I appreciate the placement of the last line.

My only criticism, which is meant to be entirely constructive (which I rarely add out of fear of being taken otherwise): I think rythymically speaking, the last line of the 2nd stanza (or 1st verse) might read better like "...oh how butterflies did stir.", or "...oh how butterflies stirred."

I only hope to be helpful. If I didn't like the piece, I wouldn't bother, so this is with much respect.

Thanks so much for sharing! Xo.

[MusicLove93]

Thank you(: I will take a look at the last line of verse one and I might make some changes(: