Be Still, My Aching Heart

Lost love

Be still my aching heart,

For, we must live with her and I apart.

Be still my wandering mind,

There’s no point, she won’t ever be mine.

 

She came into my life and filled it with light,

And as quick as she came, she was gone, out of sight.

I wonder if she even knew that I could have been hers

Every time she came near, oh how butterflies started to stir.

 

Be still my aching heart,

For, we must live with her and I apart.

Be still my wandering mind,

There’s no point, she won’t ever be mine.

 

Her lips, so seductively red, made me melt

I wish, just once, I could have known how she felt.

Her beautiful eyes pierced right through my heart.

She made me feel pretty, but now I’m just torn apart.

 

Be still my aching heart,

For, we must live with her and I apart.

Be still my wandering mind,

There’s no point, she won’t ever be mine.

 

So please, just be still for me now...

Author's Note

Not my best work, but don't be shy about leaving me some reviews!

Reviews

[A. Amos]

Be still my aching heart,
For, we must live with her and I apart.
Be still my wandering mind,
There’s no point, she won’t ever be mine.
 
So please, just be still for me now...


Romance at his best your words flawless over all simply brilliance...

[J.V. Stanley]

What I do when I have a piece I'm unsure about, I set it aside and work on another. I'll go back to it eventually and rewrite it, reformat it, or tweak it at my leisure. Sometimes I'll find various renditions of the same poem and usually I choose the one that I like the best and go with that.

As for this piece, stand-alone its beautiful. I can sense the yearning and desire for the object of affection. It actually reminds me of a mix between when my fiance was deployed to Afghanistan and the time back in high school when I yearned for him but never thought I had a snowball's chance in hell in dating him. Oddly enough, he felt the same way about me back then lol.

I especially love the conversation toward the end with your heart. 'Be still my aching heart, for we must live with her and I apart.' The mind and heart depicted as sentient separate entities really brings this poem to life. Beautifully written.

[justjenn_2u]

Not your best, you say? I haven't read anymore but this is gut wrenching and makes me stop in my tracks. I am a fan of your style and I must say that you have a natural talent.

[MusicLove93]

Well thank you, I'm glad you like it(:

[frivolous treasures]

Beautiful and bittersweet... This was a nicely flowing poem that I actually read twice! Bittersweet and marvelous. Maika'i no, great job!!

[EMF]

If this isn't your best work, I've been away too long from reading you. I personally found it faultless, but I know little of poetry. I simply became lost in the work. As I do with good writing. Stunningly good. Truly beautiful

[MusicLove93]

Lol well thank you!

[WildSoul]

its simple and yet very beautifully written. I love it. Thx

[sivan]

i love it but perhaps because i have one similar! also my heart is aching... but yeah raw emotion nice job :-)

[Barbara Walker]

It flows well, but to help the flow a bit, I'd change the last line in the second stanza to"...how butterflies began to stir." Very good rhymes. Conveys your feelings succinctly.

[Alicia Schroeder]

Beautifully done :)

[Pax]

i like the rhyme. it fits and flows very well.
beautifully sad poem.