He Smiles

It licks, surrounds quickly, gone.

Screaming and Crying,

she runs.

Panting and Heaving,

she falls.

Quickly and Shakily,

she rises.

Covered in vomit,

she slips.

Sweating and Bleeding,

she rolls.

Blistering and Oozing,

it traps.

Spreading unusually rapid,

she's frozen.

Surrounded and Licked,

she's enveloped.

Melting and Charred,

she's gone.

Fire happily killed,

He Smiles.

Author's Note

What do you think? It just came to me, I wrote it for a contest.

Reviews

[MS. BABy]

I loved the structure ....it almost made me feel like I was running....and the colors I enjoyed it all...

[zendikar]

wow creepy yet beautiful at the same time! but then who am I to be talking I'm a duck!

[al25]

Great write. It can have so many different meanings. Anyway really enjoyed reading this.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

You succeeded in scaring the hell out of me!
congrats. excellent writing.

[OT]

very dark! and I love the form, the way you've mirrored fire! great poem!! happy new year!!

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

Awesome! Horror and cool!

[Angel Bird]

I think I'd not like to live in your mind. Dark, cruel and fearful it must be there ;) (shudder) :) Absolutely gripping! This is so well done that many of those images pop up, and one wants to help her. Great job!

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

This was really good. I liked the setup of the poem. The poem was sad though. It made me frown, but I also can see the image in my head. Thanks for sharing. :)

[JelliFyshKissUs]

The erratic, flaming form; the sharp, simple wording; that blazing picture---all brilliant. It reminds me of a lover who finds delight in sapping her of her imagination, her vigor, her sanguinity. And no better word pictures could capture is as complete. I am at a lost for words.

[Matthew Kult]

I absolutely love this piece. I remember reading it once long ago and it caught my fancy, you have a talent and I hope you put up some new stuff soon, I miss reviewing you.

With Love,

Jaidyn