Blood and Mascara Tears

Yes, this is true.

So you see, I can't believe this.
This pain I've dealt with,
has left me to wonder
whether any of it was true.
You say we can be friends,
yes I believe so too,
yet there's a problem with you,
you don't know how.
My childhood best friend,
why did you betray me so?
When our love has been pure,
for quite some time.
I've started to question
every word you ever said
due to the fact that it was easy enough for you
to walk away, to break my heart.
These pieces you've left
will no longer welcome you,
for the pain was much too real,
worse than when you almost died.
That night, out at the lake, yeah
you know the one,
when you held me, kept me warm,
kissed me the way you did for so many years.
Was that night, one of my best,
played out the way you intended?
Did you want me like you said, was my heart your toy,
or were you out for fun before you left me shattered?
You see, here's where you went wrong.
You thought I'd handle it well.
Do you remember what you asked of me?
The deed you never thought I would be able to do?
Well, you fucked up. You know what?
I did do it.
How does it feel knowing you are the reason I did?
The steak knife in the kitchen, I took it, I cut my wrist.
The blood that welled,
was an unknown pleasure that I didn't think would help,
but I was wrong, oh how I was wrong my "lifelong" friend,
it worked wonders.
Oh yeah, that migraine I had,
you know, from crying my eyes and heart out,
never left, never died away.
It's there with the memory of that night.
The stain on my satin pillow,
the mixture of blood and mascara tears,
is just a silent reminder of how you, my "love"
used, and lost the one person who always
Cared.

Author's Note

Yes, this is true, every word. But don't judge me.

Reviews

[Cassi M.]

At first I was going to say that it felt so real that it was like you had experienced this. Then I read the author's note, and it proved to me that it was real. Anyways, it's obvious that these words mean a lot to you and this poem has an incredible amount of voice. Everytime I read it I hear a heartbroken woman telling this story. Very good job, as usual.

[krbritt]

Something like this happened to me last year, and this hits close to home, surprisingly so. i was too scared to cut myself, and it hink that if i had it would have taken longer for me to feel better, so i'm proud of my cowardice. It's a great write and i hope things improve for you

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This hits very close to home.
You wrote a beautiful piece.

[ERMO]

To be honest? I loved it. Unfortunatly I can relate to this very much. Hopefully for you, cutting won't become a habit though.

[E.V. Black]

I'm sad to hear that every word in this poem is true. Well, I guess you have to get through the pain in life to be happy. It's a really good poem. It strikes to the heart of humanity. I just lost a friend because she made a stupid misunderstanding about me. It broke my heart for a few months, but I slowly got over it. Of course, I do wish I could have corrected her mistake. Alas, I'm glad she's not my friend anymore. She's not reliable.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I loved this...I cut before...and it helped me get over many things. I would never judge you because of this....since I've been down this road before, but I never wear mascara. I only wear eye liner...I didn't use a knife when I would cut though..I used a staple...and it worked....thanks for sharing....

[Breanna Ragland]

wow... and you said my poem was good... i absolutely LOVE IT!!!

[Iris Jayne]

it's not the end of the world, though it sure as hell sometimes feels it is. And I can totally feel for you, except that I'm too chicken to do what you did with that steak knife. But I do believe I've had my share of the brokenhearted experience, so I can somehow feel, though not entirely, the emotion behind this. Thanks for sharing. For a sixteen year old, you're pretty good. [:

[Rosalind Dee]

feeling the emotion and the pain behind it . touching piece cass :)

[Jocelin]

I love this it means something? Wat do you mean by don't judge me?

[SimplyDisastrous]

Touching write, Cass. Sadness is dripping from the words. No one is here to judge you, remember that. Excellent piece.