Fear

These footsteps I hear behind me,
keep me on edge.
What is this unseen creature
inside my head?
This monster I feel is known as Fear.
The creature appears when something near
makes your heartbeat quicken
makes you hold your breath.
It feeds upon your pulse like a
famished lion and it's freshly killed hunt.

Fear can paralyze or can strengthen,
which do you choose to be,
the Predator,
or Prey?

Author's Note

Hmm. I don't know what to think with this one. What do you all think?

Reviews

[Bridget Mcmaken]

Fear sometimes can get out of hand so we got to quickly put it back in it's place. Don't let fear take over take over fear. Anyways amazing poem, you did a very good job. keep up the good work.

[heich]

its very true,,,and you should not let fear take over..great job..

[Abdul Aziz]

I like it. I like the idea behind this, but I agree with Emily; I think you can do much better :)
Some recommendations would be:
6th line: "The creature materializes when something near".. I think "appears" would be a better word than "materializes", as it improves the flow, and provides internal rhyme :)
8th line: "makes you hold your breathe".. It should be "breath"
Nice poem, once again :) Keep writing, and improving. You have great potential.

[emily joe]

I like this poem, but it's not my favorite that you've written. Simplicity is sometimes the best thing a writer can offer. And sometimes I thought your words got really jumbled up, and put a pause on the flow of the poem. Nevertheless, as always, excellent job with creativity and originality!

[Mizuki Tsukiakari]

"Fear can paralyze or can strengthen,
which do you chose to be,
the Predator,
or Prey?"
This is like one of those quotes you can live your life by. Very inspiring. ;p

[Dream Weaver]

Maybe a little more info and
detail. This could be a strong
and interesting write, every
thing else is fine.