Nurture of Death

(1)   Monologue

 

Coming right to it, nothing seems to make sense.

Of storms in my being which keep on robbing destiny’s-. “We will get over it,” townies utter. “Faith the key,” Christians shout.

The church synonymous with hypocrisy; pulpits an arena for paranormal demonstrations.

Blinkers blinding, only, to feel four walls closing in her me.

A universe seeming a little bit of spherical but squaring it has worsened-

I have been used to waving in my life;

Men in my life I will hardly mention of.

My addictions, my fears, my joys and my sorrows- an umbrella of confusion sheltering the comforts of religion (if it has ever saved a woman from doom).

Talk of my family, a father whom l last saw in ‘ancient’ Zimbabwe, to the list add deceptions of a betrayed family in an unfortunate path of destiny!

Talk of Harry the Super Charmer, one man in my life l vowed to...Where is He of late l could hear friend’s screams of curiosity? No! Who am l to succumb to pity? For pity from some is a shame, insulting pill swallowed aftermath! I will not, l cannot go!

To Aunt Naida who begged me not to inquire further of my other inner circle’s whereabouts; to alcohol which had been my emotional crutches?

 To poetry which hasn’t made any difference yet, to my nothingness that has clutched by my hem in hours of need.

Of jumbled thoughts-

Of misfortunes which never come singly!

Friends-?

Its dark...

 

 (2)   The woods; One fine morning

 

Sumer has peeled off winter’s face!

No time to be cupped indoors; out to the woods, with Flaffy, her cat she promised to draw a portrait far defined; far precious than of Leonardo’s- Mona Lisa; that she will do, only a confused wit envisions vastly before hands could smudge-

“There is no point in living if one can’t feel alive,” Poets utter.

Can the touch of life on earth be truly felt?

Human beings never enjoy complete happiness on earth!

Art- emotional crutches, a sure way of escaping reality in its ramifications.

Collected old leathery bag, with crayons, ‘b’ and ‘h’ pencils, drawing board; no mobile; for search of solitude.

They say it’s brilliant in later years of maturity!

Quest for solitude!

A folly for one who longs for silence to silence itself

Natured countryside seeming like a stolen piece of Eden.

Lizards in their colourful ramifications- blue, grey, green and the other one (a cross breed maybe) - a hybrid of colours.

The woods seeming like a perfect retreat for people who have received almost of life’s numerous blows.

To the East, a river running, meandering into the mountain, appearing to be engulfed by the bluer Western horizon. To the North appearing a godlike scary monument, which at first sight cannot be comprehended even by the sharpest lens.

Complements of ferns, dwarf bushes, lilies, daisies and grassy coverings!

Alone!

Of a portrait to be drawn, the one stained with hues of darkness; darkness nurturing darkness.

Cries of a lonely spirit are distinctly heard for nature has unravelled its welcoming spirit. For it will open its heart to the troubled; to the weak in spirit, and, to those on the brink of collapse.

Be careful of getting close to her when nothing she is busy scribbling but nothing on a plain A3 sketch paper, seems to be coming out.

It’s all jumbled!

 

(3)   Dark dreams recurring

 

They say to dream of snakes symbolises wickedness!

Now, she won’t utter any word for the metaphors in her sleep.

Nowhere to run!

She won’t even avow of the numerous strangers, gorges, falls, fights and funerals.

She too dreamt of another world with strangers. That she told them: “I was awarded the cap of dust by one leader, all seemed like they were made of dust, but they couldn’t let me go for they kept shouting with joy that l had been added to their destiny”

Strong’s pretence, they all know- maybe she too won’t fall prey to this one, but-

Oh! Her diary to account for all strange dreams she encounters!

 

 (4)   Hypocrisy of church

 

She has been there hoping to bury spiritual forces, all she will shout is confusion!

Hellfire that she understands will descend on earth, for all have sinned and shall fall short of the glory of heaven.

Does heaven exist?

She will argue with theories of Geography which claims earth fashioned itself as a result of copious forces.

They too heard her denying the existence of the Almighty as a result of universal suffering, which in vain- anything won’t be done to lessen outcries, if any!‘It’s impossible for one to have a close connection with the Almighty since human beings don’t encompass an undeviating connection with Him. Subsequent to human beings, a space of mediums exist (ancestors) with links to the ‘Superpower’, -which is why suffering on earth won’t end. Revert to that link!”

 

(5)   Call

 

She could drive a couple of hours before heading home.

 Her arrival, waiting to be witnessed, if any...

They will tell you of her drawing boards, sketch papers, crayons-

Only a note discovered:

‘Here I stand,

Can’t do otherwise

Unless ‘Reason’ intervenes’

‘They’ didn’t know any better!

 

               -The End-