I have commented on your high-thread-count sheets in another poem, when I felt it didn't jive with the organic feel of that other poem. But in this poem, this detail feels perfect for the way these lives are profiled here. This is a strong example of show instead of tell -- the first rule of good writing. Your well-chosen details show us the kind of life they shared (in a "shorthand" way) as well as describing the current demise. Very vivid depiction (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
Thank you, Margie. Hope you're staying warm with our temps at night taking a nose dive since Christ.. read moreThank you, Margie. Hope you're staying warm with our temps at night taking a nose dive since Christmas!
The material remains when we look at them seem so paltry compared with the significance they held, the joy they brought when the relationship was alive. This is a heartbreakingly sad reality. Very beautifully portrayed Kelly 💕
lifeandloveislikethethreadcountofsheetsthatbringstwopeopletogethersotightandsmoothliketwoheartsknittedasonebutithappensthat a min or r i p oc currs a n d th ere i s no kn i tt in g of a b ro ken
H E A R T. What is left is the spaces between that one must navigate, like a maze. There will be wrong turns for a certainty. But the torn heart will prevail, and the knitting stars anew.
Posted 6 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
...the text was intentional, right? Nice effect! Hey, Happy New Year! Did you see the CHARGER game.. read more...the text was intentional, right? Nice effect! Hey, Happy New Year! Did you see the CHARGER game against the PATS? ; (
Yes, yes it was intentional. Re the Chargers . . . . sadness abounds, but now I just want the Pats t.. read moreYes, yes it was intentional. Re the Chargers . . . . sadness abounds, but now I just want the Pats to lose in the Super Bowl!
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
5 Years Ago
I read on line that the ticket prices for the Superbowl have fallen. It seems all Pats fans have "b.. read moreI read on line that the ticket prices for the Superbowl have fallen. It seems all Pats fans have "been there and done that". I still think the Saints were robbed!
sad , bitter sweet, its hard to believe 20 years have passed which can only leave one melancholic even though the memories are fond ones.
Posted 6 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
...thank you, Andrew! Sorry I'm so late in thanking you. I think my mail is coming in by carrier p.. read more...thank you, Andrew! Sorry I'm so late in thanking you. I think my mail is coming in by carrier pigeon these days.
So often this is what a marriage is reduced to when divorce intercedes. I hope this is not a true tale for you, my friend. I doubt that it is. Love the reference to Zepplin. When a marriage breaks up, traditions are shattered and life is never the same. Your words are powerful in this one, Kelly. Hey, if you wrote the line to begin with, you are allowed to re-use it....I say so! :) Lydi**
Posted 6 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
Please forgive the lateness of this. I believe my mail is being snail delivered these days! Lol, I.. read morePlease forgive the lateness of this. I believe my mail is being snail delivered these days! Lol, I knew you would be the one to appreciate reusing a line. Thanks, Lydi!
I truly cannot tell if you went hard or soft on this...I know it leans toward soft but the undertow within it is a live animal and that screams of a sort of harsh realization...Zeppelin albums? Well that alone is a jab to the gut but I must congratulate you on this...you've taken me into an emotion and I hear your discontent. The last two lines, and I did read your comment on that, is yours and obviously you may do what you wish but you have an opportunity here and i would suggest you reach deeply into something new as it reads a bit generic and leans toward a colder side...a distance so to speak...but I love this anyway and you made me feel so wonderfully done!
I know I could have added more to this, or perhaps ended it differently, but I was quite satisfied w.. read moreI know I could have added more to this, or perhaps ended it differently, but I was quite satisfied with how it sounded when I read it aloud to myself. I'm quite puzzled though, knowing you felt it read a bit generic at the end. I'll chew on that one for a while. I appreciate your perspective though, Joseph. Thank you!
6 Years Ago
My pleasure and thanks for the wonderful shift in my mood after reading..wow..Incredible!
6 Years Ago
Needed to come back to let you know that perhaps "generic" was not the proper tern here but rather I.. read moreNeeded to come back to let you know that perhaps "generic" was not the proper tern here but rather I probably should have used "familiar" in that sense that you felt you would use a closing that you have used before. I always say "if it fits use it" but first and most importantly try and exhaust all other means..you have that talent for it. In this poem you catch the spirt of the loss so smiles and again..just a wonderful write.
Cardboard boxes flashbacks, to half a video collection, half an album collection, and half a memory that refuses to be extinguished, that wonders what it was all about in the first place. They do say we live and learn, but we rarely do, do we?
Beautifully written with the ache of soft regrets and a perfect title.
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
The title actually comes from the first two lines of Shakespeare's Richard III. I thought it made f.. read moreThe title actually comes from the first two lines of Shakespeare's Richard III. I thought it made for the perfect title. Thanks, Lorry!
6 Years Ago
If you want a good laugh, see if youcan find a movie/documentary called looking for Richard. Al Paci.. read moreIf you want a good laugh, see if youcan find a movie/documentary called looking for Richard. Al Pacino decided he wanted to put on Richard the third in a theatre, with everyone involved new to shakespeare and theatre. Winona Ryder is the only one I remember, but it is like two hours of watching rabbits in headlights, as they all freak out and realise they are out of their depth.
Its meant to be serious, but I laughed my head off :)