More like Her

More like Her

 

 

 

I was freckled

from too many summers on the California coast.

I loved you then

when you belonged to someone else,

when I was full of poetry that voiced itself

in angst and melodic offerings

of Janis Ian songs.

 

How I wished it were me

who had your name,

whose rounded shoulders were as traversed

as the pages of an atlas

within your hands…

 

perhaps if I

had been more like her.

Reviews

[Fran Marie]

Its sad ..the wishing for someone already taken by another ..the wanting to be like the other..one can feel the longing and pain of these emotions so well expressed within each line..nice work Kelly

[Kelly Scheppers]

Thank you so much for visiting my page today. It means a lot to me, and you've made me smile!

[Jibey]

A touching and telling reflection of how it can be to be attracted to someone already 'taken'. The freckles conveyed a sense of youth and innocence, and the poetry and music added to the youthful romanticism, the desire to be 'the one'.

I was struck by the image of the shoulders like an atlas explored by a lover's hands. It added a sensual element which the accompanying photograph also signaled - all part of the dreamy longing.

All these elements were tied together in a simple but effective structure, with its telling conclusion.

I enjoyed reading this well-crafted poem with its perception and sense of what might have been but was not.

[Kelly Scheppers]

There's an ocean between us. We are good friends to this day, though only by social media. Thank you, Jibey. How wonderful seeing you again!