More like Her

More like Her

 

 

 

I was freckled

from too many summers on the California coast.

I loved you then

when you belonged to someone else,

when I was full of poetry that voiced itself

in angst and melodic offerings

of Janis Ian songs.

 

How I wished it were me

who had your name,

whose rounded shoulders were as traversed

as the pages of an atlas

within your hands…

 

perhaps if I

had been more like her.

Reviews

[Beccy]

Oh Kelly, with these lines you have quite perfectly articulated an emotion, I, and doubtless so many others, are familiar with.

It is impossible to entirely wipe the memory of someone you loved; the dizziness, the euphoria of falling head over heels, but not entirely understanding what is happening to you.

But with the passing of time comes wisdom, and always that wisdom will say, No, a thousand times no, to, 'perhaps if I had been more like her.'

Beccy.

[Robert Trakofler]

okay this just pulled my heart strings and stretched them around my throat wrapped my ankles pulled my arms behind my back and tied my wrists. Needless to say i feel a bit awkward and shall we say vulnerable? as you must of when you wrote this the rawness of the expression in these lines is awesomeness and the effect of my sympathy in relating very true thru it

[Kelly Scheppers]

I would wish to savor this review for a long, long time. Thanks so much for the thrill, my bunny!

[Nipplegrinder]

There is a palpable element of envy, here. That leads to the uneasiness. This is so well written.

[Kelly Scheppers]

We all had that one love that got away, didn't we? This was mine. His memory still triggers my muse from time to time. Thank you!

[AllenS]

Ah, perhaps can hold us, at times, too long. Well said. Loved Ian's disenfranchisement.

[Kelly Scheppers]

Glad you read this one, Allen. Thank you!

[Abhishek Izy]

This is so beautifully written. Something which almost feels like a pain so sweet that one wants to experience it. Not sure if I make ant sense here but I just loved it.

Thank You

[Kelly Scheppers]

I truly appreciate your feedback. Thank you most kindly!

[sinNsincerity]

This breaks my heart Kelly because it takes me back to a similar situation. Well done. (wipes single tear off..takes a breath) anyway, this flowed so well. I love it.
Take care, Ms. Kelly.

[m3lody mae]

Makes one think of what could be, so very nicely written and holds so much emotion in it.

[Kelly Scheppers]

Thank you, Dalton.

[Relic]

whose rounded shoulders were as traversed
as the pages of an atlas
within your hands…

Wow! You really are an inspiration, Kelly. Take the reverse of this poem and make it a man talking about a woman, that's me.

Great Ink.

[Kelly Scheppers]

How complimentary it is, to find you're an inspiration to someone. Thank you, Tim!

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Wonderfully put! Simple words that held so much meaning and feeling define poetry to me, and you've done this so well. Tyfs!!!

[Kelly Scheppers]

I am always delighted to snare a new reader. Thank you most kindly.

[angel]

A very honest and, I might even say, spiritual piece, Kelly.
Cheer down, though. I understand that most folks rarely bring their Atlas down from its place on the highest bookshelf.
Yes, it may be an impressive tome, but still...it is the small, more insignificant porn novel that gets the most use and, unfortunately, abuse. But you can bet that damned atlas was jealous of all the feelings YOU inspired!

[Kelly Scheppers]

Lol, I never gave it any thought, but you might have something there. Thanks, Angel!