Love it.. seen from an innocent bystander watching the two of you bid and play,wait and wonder. You really do know how to write a scene beautifull, Kell, me darlin' fun and fascination all the way.. We ised to love it when us lot, seven of us, were young. but it was barred, banned and all by our parents come Christmas Day when we had to talk to each other and the like. Laughing now, of course. Your weave of words have given a new slant to the game with Pretzels acccompanied by boozy breaths and baited hope for one of the best to be yours, captured !
Not the pretzels you eat, Em - the album by Steely Dan - Pretzel Logic. Thank you, darlin!
6 Years Ago
GHysterical here.. in the early hours.. am such an idjit.!!! i need lessons in most subjects, Kel.. read moreGHysterical here.. in the early hours.. am such an idjit.!!! i need lessons in most subjects, Kelly!!!
Very classy and sophisticated Annette. Your segue from the delights of monopoly into Johny walker and sleepy can (that's damn predictive texting for you) is seamless.
You're jealously,
Alan
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
...I'm Kelly, Alan. Lol, thank you! ; )
6 Years Ago
On dear, kelly so sorry. Not sure what happened. I suppose I picked up Annettes review of you first... read moreOn dear, kelly so sorry. Not sure what happened. I suppose I picked up Annettes review of you first. I did have a nagging suspicion this wasn't a typical style of annette. Moral is go easy on johny walker! One thing certain - it was brilliant.
Alan
Yes, title slays. “I would love to tour the Southland”...as a backdrop for Monopoly and Johnny Walker. Love the masterfully eloquent scene-setting, mood-setting, period-painting of this sultry poem. Love the sensuous, palpable texture of it- ‘ashes from a filtered cigarette”. Love the word “loquacious”. Love this poem!
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
The entire scenario of this came to be from the title LP by Steely Dan, Pretzel Logic...that and a m.. read moreThe entire scenario of this came to be from the title LP by Steely Dan, Pretzel Logic...that and a memory of playing the game, Monopoly. I love injecting music into my poetry whenever I can, so I am thrilled beyond words that you enjoyed it. Thank you, Annette!
Like your reference to Steely Dan, who blending elements of jazz, traditional pop, R&B, and sophisticated studio production with cryptic and ironic lyrics. Your write reflects this creativity with cornerstone words (Monopoly, Johnny Walker & Steely Dan) being surrounded with poetical structuring – excellent … :-)
Such a brilliant glimpse into many familiar ideas, all woven together in a totally original way! This is a great example of how we can write about anything in our everyday lives (even if it’s been written about before) & yet making it sound like nothing we’ve ever read before. This is also a great example of SHOW instead of tell! Keep on sharing your playful wit & instructive construction! *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
So glad you enjoyed it, Margie! Thank you so much.
Ah... the trilogy, what could be better...... am mightily impressed with these incredible words of yours and which shall forthwith be consigned along with those, I call my 'favourwrites' tis true and said and writ.....Neville
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
I am thrilled you enjoyed it - really! Thank you for making my day, my friend.
6 Years Ago
I know it may well sound trite, but here goes regardless, my pleasure Kelly..... N
Kelly, what a wonderful walk down memory lane... on maybe I should say Boardwalk. My senses rolled back to the 1970s. I can hear Steely Dan's unique blend of jazz, R&B and pop. And, the iconic board game and perhaps America's favorite blended Scotch in the smoky air, dice rolling on cardboard. So, tell us... who drove whom to "bankruptcy?" As I recall, that was the goal of the game. Awesome poem and ideal title!
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
I got to thinking about how many nights we used to play, and the whole scenario just played out in m.. read moreI got to thinking about how many nights we used to play, and the whole scenario just played out in my head. The song title was the icing on the cake, for "he" really liked Steely Dan. I really appreciate you taking the time to review this, Robert. Thank you!