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Yo I'm sorry; I could have sworn I woke up to a perfect day. At least that's what I thought at the time but anyway. After all these years you'd figure I've learned to wait before jumping to conclusions. Find solutions and stop wasting my time with pointless delusions. Get on with what I have to do and do what ever it takes to do it. I've got some sort of grip on reality now and I've come too far to lose it. At times I feel like I'm about to blow until I finally admit to myself that my brain blew up a long time ago. Lack of sleep, short tempered still I'm too stubborn to let go, and my ability to just say f**k it starts to grow. Pay attention from the jump I'm just letting you know.

 

I need space, I don't ask for much, just peace of mind and the ability not to give a f**k. I'm tired of hitting dead ends, and oh yeah I'm tired of saying I'm sorry like I have to make amends. For what just can't seem to figure it out, go blow for blow with life and still manage a fake smile as problems continue to mount. Anyway whatever! I guess that's why I write beyond normal measures. Looked deeper than the physical being and found mental pleasure. That's when I unload on life for hours on end I sit and do nothing but write. Say whatever I feel on a track be it wrong or right, well aware of the fact that words can burn like ultra violet light.

 

Yeah I admit I've been feeling a little numb lately, and the s**t I put up with daily drives me a little crazy. Some of the s**t I hear people say never ceases to amaze me. Battles rage on the inside like two personalities that want to be together but don't feel the same for each other. It's clear now my hearts been cold so now I start to shudder. F**k if I understand it! Traumatized these days not knowing where I am but it feels like purgatory. Now I'm lying somewhere between here and no where. I know what I feel even when no one else does so that's neither here nor there.

 

I'm lost in the shadows while my feelings peak laughing wondering how I got lost on words put so straight forward. Consumed by the promise of my own expectations I constantly move forward. Not knowing if I should trust myself due to my own emotions while lust and infatuation mix a powerful potion. It's clouding my vision leaving reasonable thought stricken, loss of ambition. A thorn in my side blood begins to trickle so I dip my felt tip and let jealousy ride. Scornful my conscience built on pride.  Turn my back to the world and leave all this bullshit behind. I'm thinking f**k emotions chilling back with a pair of headphones letting a beat clear my mind. If I was to lose everything tomorrow I'd still have these words I said them they are mine. I write to create at my own pace, could care less about time………. 

Reviews

[TL Boehm]

Sometimes you have to just get it out, get it on paper and to Hell with those who don't get it...this 'rant' is raw, honest and sparked such resonance in me....I have felt like this....I still do at times.

[Yvonne Heidt]

Your writing has such deep emotion it's haunting. I also love the meter and flow of this piece.

A rare thing indeed.

Excellent writing.

[An Ordinary Woman]

I relate to this writing ...
*I need space, I don't ask for much, just peace of mind and the ability not to give a f**k.* ... me too sometimes.

I enjoy your intense imagery, and your honesty. Not everyone looks at things the way you do and that is what makes this a great read. To be honest, if it isn't too forward of me, it's like "getting in your head," and I like that a lot. I try to do the same sometimes, can't say I'm very good at it though. I really enjoyed this piece.

[Angelheaded Hipster]

I think we can all relate to this at one point or another....I like that you didnt hold back, and you laid out all on the table. Thank goodness for honesty...and yea.....every day bullshit is enough to make people go bat s**t crazy...

[Nick Erickson]

I completely feel this piece as I read along. The daily s**t we deal with, words that are said, emotions that overun... everything in the world creeping and pushing it's way inside our mind... a definate mind explosion will ensue.
You summed it up well in the end, with a pair of headphones and a nice beat, say f**k it and continue on.
Well written.