Daddy Dearest

When I was 13, you said I was your miracle baby...
When you told me, I cried and I thought you cared and it was so sweet. 
But the crevaces in my mind told me
that you were a hypocrite. For it was I that your words always beat. 

When, I am brought to the floor crumbled, 
too weak to get up, with a memory that haunts and tell anyone of you, they say, "Oh the stories you tell."
They all don't believe me or the words on your lips, I remembered. 
Even as I say this... I know you won't listen to my tale
But how everyone believed you... I don't know. 
You shattered my heart and put it on the lake for sail. 

Today, you would be more ashamed of me than ever. 
Made all C's this year.
All the words you thought I didn't hear? 
I held onto with all anticipation to every small little detail because you were talking to me.
You hate me being female... I always was. because I knew you wanted male.
Now all I do is try to be the perfect girl. But I am far from perfect. The deep flaws which seep through me, you see. 
I can't shoot a hoop. I can't bat a home-run. I can't sing the right notes. I can't walk down the runway. 
Don't you see this guilt and pain you inflicted upon me is too much for one person to endeavor.

So unsure, I am. 
Of everything I feel.
This poem is just a little cram. 
You will never hear but remakes the scars real.