That Little Girl I Am

This is the child I once used to be and still feel she is here with me.

I feel lonely as though no one can see or hear me
I do not have friends or anyone to talk to but my brother
I live with my grandma who is very strict
She takes me to school and we come back home everyday
I never seen the beautiful city of New York yet I live in New York
I never been to a movie theaters nor do I know what an aquarium really looks like
I can't play with other kids nor am I allowed to do kid things
I am that kid that does as her grandma pleases
She buys me lingerie and I wear them, I feel as though I have no say, if I do speak I will be beaten
I cry all the time for my mom to come and save me
I am always called slow from my family members
Am that kid that is always quiet in a corner
My grandma beats me over things I do not do
If it is not my grandma's way it is no way
She loves my brother though I do not think she loves me
What is love? Do my parents even love me?
My mother is a workaholic
My father prefers my brother
They are never around to comfort me
No one has ever told me that they love me
Now I'm grown and I do not know what love is
My grandma now has alzheimers
I live with my mom and brother though nothing ever changed since my mother is never around and always working
I am still that quiet person I always have been, am realizing what I went through wasn't normal nor alright
I am realizing I do not know love and never had love
Am still that person with no friends
I still wear lingerie though this time my grandma doesn't have to tell me to wear them
I still feel like that lost, lonely, isolated child that does not speak
Never had a childhood, now that am older am realizing I need to love myself and it is happening little by little
I need to love me!

Reviews

[JMaster1]

Never had a childhood, now that am older am realizing I need to love myself and it is happening little by little
I need to love me!

That's so true , you first need to love yourself , your need for love is expressed so beautifully here

[Chaplily44]

wow
this poem made me appreciate my family so much more
thank you