Diamonds and Hearts

At attempt at Minimalism

It was his birthday. She told him that the people in the mall had forgotten to put her order through; she even pretended to be angry about it. She said she was sorry, she said he would have to wait. She made him breakfast. Eggs, bacon, cottage cheese, toast with honey and sliced fruit. He forgot to say thanks.

            She had known his birthday was coming; she thought about it a lot. They’d been broken up for a month now, but like a kitten she was unwilling to leave the only nurturer she knew. No matter how many times he turned her out, she’d slip back through the hole in the porch’s screen door. He wouldn’t expect anything less.

            A week later he began his inquisition. He wanted it, he wanted it now.

            “Its coming,” she’d replied, “Don’t worry, it’s gonna be great.”

            Her mind flashed back to all the poetry she’d patiently copied out in her best hand, the hours she’d spent compiling music to his taste, his old jacket she’d fixed up with patches of his favorite bands. She remembered the excitement she’d feel before handing each thing over to his expectant hands. But when her gifts touched those lethal finger tips, her mind would come to a grinding stall. Her words skimmed, folded, and tucked into a box under their bed. Music skipping and dirty in the cab of his pickup truck. A dusty jacket given to his cousin. Useless artifacts of her love.

            She didn’t think she could relive the disappointment this time, not since the hole in the wall. Not since the sixteen stitches and lying to her father about falling down the stairs. She had become so small she didn’t think she could give any more without disappearing for good.

            She went to the mall. She stumbled into the jewellery store and glancing around noticed a turntable that read Sale: 40% off. Perfect, she thought to herself. She picked out a tie clip, silver, with a tiny diamond setting. The smooth steel reminded her of his eyes. The girl at the counter asked her if she wanted it wrapped. 

            His face lit up when he saw the tiny box in shiny blue paper and curling white ribbons that she had nothing to do with. She made him read the card first. She knew it was full of bullshit but she wanted him to think that a lot of thought went into picking it out, just like always. The card began: A token to your future successes…

            His eyes briefly passed over the letter before his hands hungrily tore apart the wrapping. He froze when he popped open the little velvet box. She hadn’t taken off the sticker that read Genuine.

            “Wow,” he said, unable to keep the surprise from his voice, “you finally did it right.” He grabbed her and kissed her on the mouth the way he used to, squeezing her left breast too roughly. She wanted to slap him. For all those years she’d been struggling to do it right.

            She wondered if it was only the diamond.

             

 

Reviews

[Karen]

Could you please help me understand what is minimalism writing?

[Princess_ck84]

Holy Hell, Vanessa!! Gorgeous! Yet, could I really expect anything less? I hope this is something you used in class and that you got a good mark on it! Hope to see more from you soon!