Chapter Ten

The weekend rushes by in a daze. Somehow, all I can think of is Evan. A sketchbook quickly becoming filled with drawings of him. His profile, his lips, his hands. The simplest things. His hands are my absolute favorite. They’re so flawlessly beautiful, and completely capable. I love the little scars, denting the perfection of his skin. I love the way his nails are uneven, from him biting them as a nervous habit. I love the calluses on the tips of his fingers from playing guitar. I love the way our hands contrast, my skin light porcelain, his tan. I love his long, graceful, born to be a musician fingers. I love the way they can pull a melody out of an old piano with yellowing keys, or strum out a song on his old guitar. 

It is in the following weeks that I come to find that there are a lot of things that I love about Evan. The simplest of things. The way his black hair falls into his eyes when he’s pouring over a textbook. The way his lips curl up into a smile at the smallest of things. The way his voice flows over me in the car when he’s singing and I’m pretty sure, I’ve found happiness. 

Regardless of our budding relationship, we’re careful at school. The incident from weeks ago still fresh in both of our minds as the bruises fade. We’re taking the sexual rode slow, still discovering the little things about each other before plunging into the realm of physical interaction. I like it better that way, knowing that even the slightest of touches still gives me chills. It’s safe, it’s easy. Being around Evan, is in a way like being around Emily, with additional feelings mixed in. It’s heaven.

It is a Monday that I realize that Evan and I will not be able to spend every day of forever together. It hits me like a slap to the face when he announces that he’ll be going out of town for the week for family business. I can feel the light seeping out of the rest of my week, and I’m embarrassed because it probably shows on my face.

“Hey, it’s only a week.”  Evan whispers running a thumb along my hand, a risky move in a cafeteria full of homophobes. I sigh, with the best smile I can muster. It’s ridiculous, we’ve been dating for such a short period, but I feel that I need him. The moment the thought finds it’s way through my brain, I’m completely uncomfortable. I don’t need anyone, not my parents, not Em. There is no way, I want to begin to need Evan. We’re in high school, and we all know high school relationships rarely last.

“Thank God! I miss my boy.” Em jokes, a bright smile on her face, she ruffles my hair, slapping a wet sloppy kiss on my cheek. I try to ignore the sinking feeling in my gut and smile. It wont be that bad, it wasn’t that long ago that it was always just Em and me.

I can’t help but dread the rest of the day. Two periods, without Em and Evan.  It seems so much more painful than it really should be. In art class, I sketch. Self-portraits for once. One of me, blankly staring into a mirror. The next of a rainy landscape, with a toe-headed boy standing, face towards the sky. The last drawing of my, a gaping hole where my heart should be replaced simply by the letter E, whether in representation of Emily or Evan, I’m not really sure.

The bell rings, pulling me out of my little world of safety and charcoal. Breathing deeply, I pack my stuff into my messenger bag. The rest of today, will be good if it kills me. I throw the bag over my shoulder and shoot Jenna a half-smile before nudging the door open. Trying to avoid thinking about how much I’ve learned about Evan, like how he plays guitar, and how his voice is angelic, and how he loves his grandmother more than anything in the world. A light touch on my lower back, brings me comfort, and also a sense of nervousness. Evan’s eyes are bright, his smile wide and genuine as he slips his arms around my waist, walking us back so that my back is against a wall.

“Hey gorgeous.” He whispers, his breath cool against my face. I can feel my heart fluttering in my chest, and a blush pooling in my cheeks. He slides one hand up so it rests on my left side just below my rib.

“I have a surprise for you.” Evan murmurs nuzzling into my neck. It’s a feeling that I can only describe as pleasant, and that’d be considered an understatement. 

“What is it?” I sigh contentedly and lean my head to rest upon his chest. He’s so good.

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise now would it?” He laughs, pulling away from me. I have to clamp my lips shut to avoid making a sound at the loss of contact, and body heat. He chuckles softly grabbing my hand, and tugging me through the now empty hallway to the student parking lot. It’s completely empty, save for Em’s hideous VW Bug. I had tried, and tried to talk her out of the purchase, but she was absolutely in love with it. Em’s leaning against the hood of her ‘baby’ holding Evan’s guitar case gingerly in her arms. I can feel a blush spreading up my neck into my cheeks, feeling a sense of confusion wash over me.

“Just listen.” Em smiles handing the guitar case to Evan. He clicks it open and in one fluid motion, the guitar is in his hands and he’s strumming a melody.

Go ahead and treat me right,

I’ll treat you better

Teach me how to make you feel

Teach me how to make this real

Show me all the things I never knew

Make me remember why I love you

My saving grace

Life wouldn't be the same

Without you

Tell me bout' the all the flaws you

Think you had

And I'll tell you bout all the things

That aren't even bad

Your eyes, your smile, your laugh

The way you kiss, the way you touch

To me you'll always be enough

My saving grace

When the tears you cry

Run dry and your smile seems to fade

I'll be here, to scare all the demons away

You're my saving grace

Life wouldn't be the same 

Without you

Let me love you, let me hold you

Let's be together baby, I'll never mold you

Into something you're not

Make a move, take a chance

Fall for me, Don't let me go

You're my saving grace

Em’s voice is high, and clear like bells, captivating from the  moment she opens her mouth. Evan’s voice is low, and gorgeous and something I cannot even describe. I blush as they finish, and I find I cannot breathe because I have never heard something quite so beautiful, especially since I know it is because of me.

Author's Note

Tell me what you think?
Boom!Headshot.
When I am upset I write nothing but fluff bout my sweet little gay boys. Judge me, I dare you.

Reviews

[KailaRenee]

Ahh! I love your little gay boys(: Your writing makes my heart flutter in want of a romance like this one.

[eatmills]

Fluffy is right. Face it, it can't be all action. You have to do the character building once and a while.

[Jonathan Biswell]

they are a match made in heaven