Apprehensive

A Poem by MrWatson215

Apprehensive

I’m apprehensive
When it comes to
Loving you
Not spooked
By possibilities of being hurt
But discouraged by
What I may possibly put you through.
I could never imagine
Loving someone like myself
My self worth has been
Diminished.
Not because of insecurity
But an emotional glitch
Something infused in my heart.
It desires so much
Then…
It desires nothing at all.
I’m smiling and breathing
Simply living
But if you listen and feel…
Nothing is beating.
The light shines from a distance
However…
The closer you get
It becomes dull.
The ultimate façade
At times
I fool myself.
Is there something wrong with me?
No one gets me….
And then there’s you!
A possible turn around???
But I’m apprehensive…
Heartache.
I may have never experienced it
But I know it exist
I may have never felt the agony
But I know the distance
That it can drive you
I’ve seen it through HER eyes
I’ve felt it through HER tears
And basically
That’s why I am here.
This is why I cater to you
This is why I attend to your
Emotional need
Because when a heart bleeds…
It’s hard to stop the bleeding
And in the same breath…
I know how to take you there
I can make you feel less than nothing
I’ve experienced this.
I can shatter your world
Where thoughts of suicide are relevant
I’ve driven people to this
I’ve learned from HIS ways
I can build you up
Only to knock you down
Causing you to never trust again.
I’ve mastered HIS ways.
I’ve developed the same mind set
This is exactly why
I’m apprehensive.