Atwitter

Senryu

Day is idyllic,
haven't seen you smile
I am in anguish

I will keep in mind
You utter often, leastwise
fail to remember

Waiting for a cue
from Your aegis of lethe
has been a torment

My patience has reached
Point of no return amidst
Ad hoc interplay.

Reviews

[Robert Trakofler]

I am wondering if this discourse is of one you adore of the one whom is writing this which naturally leads me to wonder if the one of whom is writing does indeed remember to adore her most adorable self:) the words Aegis of Lethe wow Aegis of Lethe
Aegis of Lethe
Aegis of Lethe.... that is me
that is a poem in three words Mrudula

[Mrudula Rani]

thank you Robert, for the brevette.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really like these...i went a different direction with this than the romantic lover and the speaker waiting for a response that doesn't come.
i was thinking of a loved one who has dementia...and the relative is hoping for some response, some sign of recognition...and getting nothing...no words, or nods that acknowledge...
been through something similar and related...
nice work....really good senryu..
j.

[Mrudula Rani]

The second interpretation is heart breaking, Jacob.

[Chris Shaw]

Hanging in there anticipating a response and there is only silence. I know how frustrating that can be. A universal theme you have here Mrudula. A clever write. Not just one senryu for us, a handful. Very well done dear poet. All good wishes to you.

Chris

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you, dear Chris for your lovely comments.it is a delight to receive your review.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A brace of senyru with a quite sombre feel as the protagonist appears to be in limbo waiting for the subject of their desire to respond.

[Mrudula Rani]

Some times it seems like an eternity to get a response form that special someone ... thank you John, for your lovely thoughts. Hope all is great with you.

[CD Campbell]

Your poem reminds me of how a lot of us fall into that trap of how we tether ourselves to others to make our selves happy, complete. Then there is the other side that tells us that God is within and we are islands. I love this poem of yours as is there is not an answer, just beauty observed in the human condition.

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you CD. your knowledge about the concept is absolutely perfect, I hold the same views about relationships. Hope to see you posting your amazing writings soon. Tudo de bom para te.( wishing you all the best )

[Relic]

Many reasons to be atwitter, I see. People can play on our emotions and patience. But we must learn somehow to keep our days Idyllic though, for the days are short. :)

[Mrudula Rani]

I agree with your wonderful observations, thank you Tim.

[barleygirl]

You offer up so many words that are new for me . . . this time it's LETHE! I had to write that one down on my list of writing ideas! Come Halloween time, I might want to follow that thread! *wink! wink!* I'm afraid when I read your title, all I can think is the constant strife that's generated on Twitter becuz of a certain bully in our pulpit. I've never used Twitter and now I never will, becuz of this country-wide fiasco playing out daily here. However, your poem actually felt like it could mean "Atwitter" (did you make up that word?) . . . as in the original meaning . . . birds twittering with excitement & joy . . . kinda how your narrator sounds, awaiting in anticipation (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Mrudula Rani]

Oi Querida, Atwitter= aflutter, anxious, edgy. I found this word in a dictionary ( I find reading dictionary is more relaxing than watching news) I don't use twitter, or instagram . my only online connection to others is WC. Uma abraço.

[Great Aunt Astri]

Very cleverly done. I love the title Atwitter And, as with true Senryus, you say a lot with those few words. I think most of us can identify with this. Good for you.

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you GA Astri, for your kind words.

[Paul Bell]

Aw, Mrudula, waiting for that tweet that isn't coming does tend to get you on edge.
Heard facebook went down this week, people were jumping off buildings. The landline was rediscovered, people started conversing again. You just know it will never catch on.

[Mrudula Rani]

landline is the problem here, Paul. ( they provide wifi) breaks down a lot.
Face book has been misused a lot, live streaming violent attack ? ... how in the world people bring themselves to share that I can't explain.

[Paul Bell]

The world is full of weirdos

[emmajoy]

'My patience has reached - Point of no return amidst - Ad hoc interplay.'

And perhaps, therein lies an epic best.seller! :)

Such a cleverness of shape, space and thought. You never fail to impress me, your writing's full of tricks of the writing trade! Am almost green-eyed with your ability to say so much, use emotions yet still submit to senryu boundaries!

[Mrudula Rani]

Dear beautiful Emmajoy, thank you for making my day. I admire your writings and always wonder how brilliantly scholarly your writings are, and if I could write like that I would be very happy. Thank you Querida.
( Our internet has been giving problems, I haven't had a chance to be on WC for few days, very eager to read your poetry. My friend).

[emmajoy]

Take care til you're back safely into the fold, luv. Smile, somersault your thoughts and come up giggling. xx