Miss you more...

Inspired by CD Campbell's, Open Letter To My Loves Across The Horizon.

Whenever you are out of view,
I pleat reminiscences of you.
To dent the distance, fret and fuss.
I miss you more than I confess.

My world of glee has tribe of two,
You meet my solicits anew,
glean nature's magic to caress.
I miss you more than I confess.

You awe me with intellections,
let me grasp celestial renditions,
Cruise the shores of impervious.
I miss you more than I confess.

You aid to perceive passion,
the world around, a place of my own
Void of you I will be aimless.
I miss you more than I confess.

Whenever you are out of view,
I miss you more than I confess.

Reviews

[Eilis]

I really enjoyed the small details in this poem.

For example, the use of the word ‘pleat’ in L2 is unexpected and exciting from a language standpoint. It creates an image I don’t think I would have ever thought of if I hadn’t read it. That whole first stanza sets the poem up so nicely with the near rhyme at ‘fuss/confess’ and in introducing your refrain line. Really great.

I also like the way the refrain line lends the poem the feel of a villanelle. I just love repetition in poetry where it can take on different meanings as the poem goes on (like a villanelle does) and I feel like you’ve accomplished that here.

I also like the way you come at some ideas in a non-traditional way for love poetry. The musings on the beauty of intellect for example.

Just really enjoyed this.

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you very much for your wonderful review, you are one of best reviewers along with Margie ( Barley girl) I really appreciate your visit and your comments. Thanks again.

[Eilis]

Thanks for the kind words, Mrudula. It was my pleasure.

[Chris Shaw]

Wonderfully conveyed lines, rich in language and fine sentiment. I also love the repetition M which adds emphasis. Your pen is on fire my dear.

All good wishes

Chris

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you dear C, for your kind and sweet comments. You really made my day. Obrigada ( thank you)!

[Chris Shaw]

Obrigada to you too :)

[Coyote Poetry]

We do miss the people we love.
"Whenever you are out of view,
I miss you more than I confess. "
I enjoyed the complete poem. About lines stood-out. Thank you Mrudula for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you dear friend for your kind words, I appreciate them very much.

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed this one and you are welcome my friend.

[Neville]

The whole of this is absolutely superb, I just love the repetition at the tail end of each stanza...whether for a lover or for an absent loved one, this say's it all... a great big well done to ya.... :) Neville

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you my dear friend, you know that I appreciate your comments tremendously. Bom semana para você Querido ( have a very good week dear ) .

[Neville]

always a pleasure Mrudula.. always..

[Mrudula Rani]

Meu abrações Queridão!( lots of hugs my dearest)!

[Neville]

appreciated too............... :) N