Miss you more...

Inspired by CD Campbell's, Open Letter To My Loves Across The Horizon.

Whenever you are out of view,
I pleat reminiscences of you.
To dent the distance, fret and fuss.
I miss you more than I confess.

My world of glee has tribe of two,
You meet my solicits anew,
glean nature's magic to caress.
I miss you more than I confess.

You awe me with intellections,
let me grasp celestial renditions,
Cruise the shores of impervious.
I miss you more than I confess.

You aid to perceive passion,
the world around, a place of my own
Void of you I will be aimless.
I miss you more than I confess.

Whenever you are out of view,
I miss you more than I confess.

Reviews

[Eilis]

I really enjoyed the small details in this poem.

For example, the use of the word ‘pleat’ in L2 is unexpected and exciting from a language standpoint. It creates an image I don’t think I would have ever thought of if I hadn’t read it. That whole first stanza sets the poem up so nicely with the near rhyme at ‘fuss/confess’ and in introducing your refrain line. Really great.

I also like the way the refrain line lends the poem the feel of a villanelle. I just love repetition in poetry where it can take on different meanings as the poem goes on (like a villanelle does) and I feel like you’ve accomplished that here.

I also like the way you come at some ideas in a non-traditional way for love poetry. The musings on the beauty of intellect for example.

Just really enjoyed this.

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you very much for your wonderful review, you are one of best reviewers along with Margie ( Barley girl) I really appreciate your visit and your comments. Thanks again.

[Eilis]

Thanks for the kind words, Mrudula. It was my pleasure.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

i really like the rhyming in this, i for one never usually rhyme in my poems only a few i have, i really liked this and thankyou for entry into my competition, good luck to you

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you very much for your thoughts, and for the competition.

[Riddhi]

I liked this poem...You know whenever I read your poems , I feel that your love poetries are different from those normal ones...I love the way you use your words..I especially loved that line which you wrote after every stanza..I MISS YOU MORE THAN I CONFESS...That is what happens when you truly love someone..Great work..
Keep on writing...

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you beautiful Riddhi, for your lovely comments. Wishing you a wonderful holiday season and a brilliant new year.

[Riddhi]

Happy Christmas and Happy new year in advance to you tooo....

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you dear.

[An owl on the moon]

Reading your words, feeling your heart in that aching place, that longing place. In Portuguese there is a word you know well... saudade. It is a home I know too well. The missing place... the feeling that nothing is quite right because someone is gone from you that was every measure of your world. You speak this so clearly here. Querendo que seu mundo seja todo luz e alegria. Um grande abraço.

[Mrudula Rani]

Muito obrigada meu Querido amigo para sua palavras de carinho, agradeço muito. Uma grande abraço.

[An owl on the moon]

É a minha alegria compartilhar palavras e mundos com você, amiga precioso ... Um grande abraço ...

[CD Campbell]

Wow Mrudula! You humble me. I think this effort is quite a bit better than the inspiration. I can't do a bang up review like Eilis can, but let me start by agreeing with his assertion of your talent of using nontraditional verbage in your writing. I think of you as a word explorer, you're not afraid to try something different. What I like most about this one is its readability. Instead of it being a passing thought on paper, it should be in a future collection for further perusing.

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you CD, your reading my poem means a lot to me. You are one of my favorite writers and your poems are always a source of inspiration for me . Thanks again my dear friend.

[Eilis]

I appreciate the reviewer accolades from both of you guys! For the record, though, I’m a her :D

[Mrudula Rani]

By Your profile image I was sure you are a lovely lady. - Mrudula

[Onlyme]

This is beyond moving, beautiful, tender as well as touching. Romantic and passionate. Undying love for someone so far. That makes you ache deep inside. And as the pass of time comes and grows so does the love.

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you Dawn for your wonderful words.

[Onlyme]

Your more than worth it sweetheart. Exceptional read.

[Mrudula Rani]

You are always so lovely and kind Dawn. Uma grande abraço Querida ( a huge hug form me to you dear)

[Onlyme]

Mrudula. You my shine light of kindness on earth. Who, always makes me smile. Hugs dear friend. Dawn.

[Mrudula Rani]

thank you sweetheart.

[Ardra]

Why do we miss in first place.... :) that's what I keep wondering....why can't we have a shut down button in case of emergencies....and just forget things ever happened....
Very nicely done ...:))

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you Ardra for the visit and the review.

[PatrickPink]

Really beautifully written, some of the phrasing you use here is absolutely stunning! I particularly like 'you aid to perceive my passion' and 'void of you I will be aimless'. Your refrain drives home the key concept of the poem, and summarizing it in the final couplet adds even more impact to it! A wonderful job!

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you for your very thoughtful and kind review, Patrick. I really appreciate your comments.

[Relic]

What a great line. (I miss you more than I confess). Another one I wish I had thought of. Favorite other line. Void of you I will be aimless.

I like. :)

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you. Tim, for your lovely, generous review. I will treasure it.

[Papaya]

This is so lovely, and how true that absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Wonderful love poem.

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you Ana, for your lovely comments.