The Girl and her Sand Box

This is about wanting to escape

I pretend. I pretend. I pretend I'm a princess.
I pretend my sand castle truly exists somewhere in the world because I know one day, I will go there.
There are balls where every girl has a date, a beautiful dress and not one boy is bored.
There are tables that have an endless supply of food that will never spoil.
Everyone is smiling and laughing as if they've never had fun before.
Everyone is dancing as if the music itself is moving them and when it stops, they'll stop too.
All the girls live in perfection. A mom. A dad. Two brotheres and a sister. Nothing worth changing.
All the boys live in perfection. A mom. A dad. Two sisters and a brother. Everything worth keeping.
The sisters don't hurt those who love them.
The brothers don't hurt their mothers.
Fathers stay with their family.
Mothers always have enough of whatever it is that they need.
No one dies. They just pack their things when they're 89 years old, go on a trip and never come back.
No one is betrayed. There are white lies and there are hurt feelings, but the hurt doesn't scar.
It's a fairytale in my castle. Ankles are still twisted. Dresses are still torn. Sword fights are incredibly common.
It's a nightmare in my home. Lives are horribly twisted. Hearts or brutally torn. Throwing plates isn't scary anymore.
Princes and Princess smile and laugh
Mommies and Daddies just cry and shout.
I watch, sqeeze my eyes shut, block out the sound and think:
This is not happening, this is not our world. Everyone is happy and there's ice cream in every house.
I watch, keep my eyes open, listen to the words and think:
This is happening, this is our world. People are suffering and there's not enough food.
I regret listening and think:
I don't know this. I don't know this. It's not happening.
I know this is a lie, but I can't go to the sand box until tomorrow. So, for now, I'll do what I can.
I pretend. I pretend. I pretend I'm a princess...