Diagnose

A little about my past

The day I got diagnosed with bipolar at just 11 years old, the doctor said
You've got to take fluoxetine, I thought I had a cold.
This runs in the family he said,
Your brother has it too
I wondered how he knew?
I've been running from werid shapes
and hiding from school mates
thinking they would catch it too
but this was no ordinary flu
one minute I would be happy
the next I thought I was bad
my mummy was an alcoholic
and my daddy would get mad
sometimes I would get so low
that all I wanted was to know,
that my mummy loved me more
then the drink she does adore
I had alot of panic attacks
and I really don't know what for
I thought I saw shadows
standing at the door
every night my daddy would shout
'turn that freaking light out'
but daddy the dark is when there about
'stop talking nonsence'
daddy I'm really scared
but no-one answered I knew they never cared
writing was my own sort of cure
but I was never really sure
if this was a bug, if I needed a hug
no-one was really there
the doctor sent me to a psychiatrist
who questioned my every step
she said have I been feeling down?
have you even slept?
I just wanted it all to stop
I was making mistakes on the spot
I always knew this wasn't a flu
but it was the best way to explain
my feeling strange and blue
was this really bipolar? I havent a clue!