Ugh, Love

In the one solitude moment of the day that, I sit and start pondering on love. "To have loved and lost, is better to have never loved at all"- is bull. What's the point of loving, when you're always losing?

The whole sharade of life is sickening to me after living and learning thus far.

It's almost as if I'm drowning. Swimming in an ocean of vomit, suddenly stopping because I'm so numb from pain. The waves thrashing, seeing the surface rise, pressure getting almost unbearable; but I'm still breathing wondering why, and  wanting so much to die.

I start to panic. Constructing up the wall, again,  being careful not to let anyone back in.

Sometimes, I ask myself, "Is this really my life? Or am I living in my Hell?" 

I dont know why, but I'm starting to forget the girl I used to be.

 The girl every one loved. I had dreams and ambitions. I used to smile, but now days, I just use it as a mask to cover up how my heart is still broken.

He took me for granted, and took everything I had and was away.

Why am I the one who still hurts?

Used to, I was afraid of nothing. Now, I'm afraid of living, afraid of death, and so afraid to love again.

I don't know, maybe if I took a couple steps back and traded shoes with someone so to look at it from their shoes, I would then understand.

Until then, I'm unable to love...

Reviews

[Matt]

Love. Love is empty love is cruel. how could you have been a fool.. we all are. and being numb is almost as painful as feeling lonely. its when the loneliness fades and the numb is gone that you dont know how are why you can still move on. youll survive. i have. Life sucks most of time. it will get better.. eventualy